Look, I want to be fuckin cool too. I have decided to answer the infamous Friday 5. 1. What is your favorite scary movie? Scary movies usualy give me nightmares, but the one that I absolutely loved was the re-make of The Shining done for ABC or NBC or sone of those newtworks. Man that was soooo scary! :O 2. What is your favorite Halloween treat? Candy Apples and Ice cream punch! 3. Do you dress up for Halloween? If so, describe your best Halloween costume. I usually dress up when I have no choice. I dont think I ever had a cool costume. Ohhh wait....there was that year that Ariana and I dressed up as Beavis and Butthead for halloween! Uh huh huh uhuh.... 4. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events? I like going so I can be scared out of my mind and then when it's over I can be a bad ass and tell my friends how cheesy it was. 5. Will you dress up for Halloween this year? Yes. I am going to be strawberry fanta! Shoot me I am lame. BTW I talked to Ryan last night. He seemed to be sooo sweet and sooo wonderful and sooooo much like he was in the begining. We talked for like an hour or so, just catching up on what had happened since we stopped talking and stuff. I think he is chnaging for the better now, which is great. He just needs to lay off the heavy partying and the pills. I even got him to admit that I was one of the best things to ever happen to him. :D I miss the good times we had just hanging out at his house with his parents and Wes and the cat and the dog from hell who didnt like ANYONE but somehow ended up loving me and even sat on my lap. *sigh* ok The last thing I want is to come off as a total skank and boy crazy kind of girl. But isnt that what being single is all about? I'm young, I'm ok looking, and I deserve to have fun before I get tied down to someone for the rest of my life. I hope I bump into Ben tonight. I have made it a personal goal of mine to get him to kiss me. ;) I saw him flirting with this girl last Saturday at Xcape in the VIP lounge. She was not that cute. But if thats the kind of girl he likes, I think I have a chance. :D I wonder what Tara would think if she knew I was trying to hook up with her brother??? Good thing shes at USD and not here! :P ho ho ho

Ok, so I wasnt really nude. But you could join freakcams anyway and get all the cool shit it has to offer! I will be adding more galleries shortly, but the ones that are there are pretty good! Anyway, I've been kind of sick these past few days. It seems that wearing skanky shirts out to bars and sitting outside drinking cold beer makes you sick. ugh. Who cares I had a blast. Today however, I am suffering the consequences after I have od'd on dayquil/nyquil! I feel spaced out and I'm very irritable. Have any of you ever felt like this after taking that shit for too long? Let me know. Yesterday I went to lunch with Rocky. *sigh* That was really weird. Well the actuall time I spent with him wasnt weird, but what happened because of it is. His ex gf works with him and apparently she saw me walk out of the store with him. I have no idea who the chick is or what she looks like. I guess I was kind of worried that he was using me to make her mad, but he said that he didnt even know she was working. Then the fact that he was confused and angry after what she did, made me feel weird. Which makes no sense because I have vowed to myself to not even care or focus on anything that has to do with Rocky. It's not like he's the only guy that likes me, but it still hurt a little bit. :( Does that make sense? I guess despite any other guys I am talking to or seeing at the moment, Rocky has more of a hold on me. Cheesey, I know. Slap me. Thanks. And I found out from Rocky that Mario was Dominic_21_99. It freaked me out because they were trying to make it seem so sneaky that they were reading my site and what I wrote and blah blah. I never write anything that I would regret here, so I'm safe. I guess it feels weird since I never expected him to read my site. Today I was pissed of at the world because some network idiots went into my office and instaled a firewall and all this other bull shit and now my PC is fucked up the ass and has no internet connection. To make it worse, they switched me over to a cable server and took me off the DSL one. ROAD RUNNER DIE DIE DIE!!! That would piss anyone off, right? It was ok in a way since I got to sit there and not really do anyting all day but eat candy and answer the phones. I <3 my job! Rocky might come over later tonight. If he isnt too freaked out about me being a weirdo today. ho ho ho Aaaand I need to shop for the rest of my halloween costume for the party on saturday. I'm going to be a fanta bitch! OUSH!##@!

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This week could not have been any better! I had a blast partying with all my great friends! Wednesday night at Double Daves I was sooooo sauced I have no idea how or why I did alot of the shit I did. Let's see, I told Brian Givens that I had a crush on him, I told Ryan that he was a sorry motherfucker, I had a convo with some guy in my art class about relationships, and i tried to out chug a 6 foot 3 inch football player. Friday Nepha Gaby and I went to Hemingways and we were having a pretty good time. We saw some cute guys, alot of gross ones (which wouldnt leave us alone). Then I hear someone saying "Lisa from Candlelighters!!" over and over again, so I turn around and it was Coach Nate Poss, Utep football coach and he's having a great ol' time and he says that he wants to introduce me to some people. That man is so sweet, he made me sound like an angel to all those other people he introduced me to. He even gave me a sideline pass for the game against Rice. It was a really fun night and alot of interesting shit happened. We bumped into alot of people like Karla and Natalia who were of coursed, dressed to the nines and made us look like chump-ass hoochie mamas in our jeans and skanky shirts. It was a fun night. Saturday we went to Xcape, and I called Greg so he could get us into VIP. Well, one of the bouncers saw us and he gave us VIP wrist bands! We are some mega fly bitches. :D Nepha ended up going with Mario and Rocky. Just when I saw Ben Ivy, nepha calls us and tells us they're there. :( Ben Ivy you are soo cute! He's 26 and he's a lawyer and hes hott. gah ok I ended up having a really good time with Rocky and he was really sweet. <3 I really like this guy, but I have never received more mixed signals ever! I'm not even stressing about it. If he likes me, fine. If he just wants to fuck around with me, fine. I don't really care because I feel happy now. :D I have a great time whenver I'm with him, kissing him is the most delicious thing ever, he's incredibly funny, he's taller than me! But if he can't see what a bad ass I am, I'm not even going to sweat it. All the horrible things I went through with Ryan have made me into someone stronger. He lowered my self esteem so much, and it's demented how he could even make me feel so unatractive and flat out ugly. Now I dont give a shit what he, or any other guy thinks. I like me, and thats all that should matter. So Rocky, if you're reading this, I'm screwed. :/ hahaha ok whatever. Im cleaning out my closet today and getting rid of LOTS of clothes and shoes. I even did laundry and it turns out I have more clothes than I thought. I'll post some more later!

Went out to lunch with Ju-Ju today to the Golden Buddah formerly known as the Peking Garden. He got this cool new Kodak cam/mp3 player thingie! Ju-Ju is a GREAT photographer as well as a bomb ass waiter! Here are the pics he took of me! dont the dumpsters add to the sexyness of this bum grab shot? Ju-Ju said it was sooo "Mariah". hahaha This is me posing tres sexy right outside of the Rib Hut. Nothing could be sexier than a chick posing like that outside of a place that sells ribs!

I have whiplash I went offroading on saturday with Nepha Mario and Rocky. We drove out to red sands which is like super far from my house. I live on the far west side and that place is on the faaaaaaaaaaaar east. We took Mario's step dad's quad and we rode around the dunes and everything. Then some punk guy on a motocross bike hit me and Rocky! Ouch! I thought my leg was bad, but Rocky got hit pretty bad and he got some skin ripped off his ankle. The motocross freak fell off his bike and he broke his little break handle thing. Fucker, maybe he should have tried USING it and we would all be ok. Then we all went off in Rocky's 4 Runner and REALLY got crazy and bumpy on the dunes. Nepha and I screamed like little bitches and the guys just laughed at us. har har har Here are some pictures of our adventure....

They are so weird. They have this one little silent code for something and they wont tell us what it is. :( Thats ok. Nepha and I have ALOT more silent codes than they can ever come up with and I know they are just DYING to find out! hahaha suckas! i hope he isnt reading this, because then he'll get paranoid. Keep it on teh hush hush. Ha, and as i was writing this he just called me. unF he's pretty cool. whatever. anyway I have a test on wed...yuck alot. I get my math test back today. Sunday was cold. I had to stand outside and watch a polomatch for like 2 hours. It blew. I also found out that we lost 2 of our kids on Sunday. I had just met one of them and he seemed totally fine to me, but turns out he was really sick, but he just didnt wnt to check into the hospice. How do you deal when youre 16 and they ask you if you want to go to the hospice? That takes some major courage. ok....have fun adios **update I went out to Double Daves last night night and I bumped into Brian Givens! I have a huge crush on him and I was drunk so i let him know. He is sooo adorable. I also saw Applebee's Aaron there, who is now the kicker for UTEP...ugh, whatever he's already going bald. I saw a few other guys i knew there, it was fuckin awesome. ***MEGA update I got laid and it was great!!! *final update I hung out with Married Matt today, he is soooo hott! (and no longer married!) BTW HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEMETRIUS!!!! :D 27 isnt old...gha hahaha yeah right! :D You rock dude!

I am freaking out majorly. God, I am such a fuckin' airhead. :/ Working and going to school is soooo much harder than I ever thought it would be. I have the most laid back easiest job in the world, I'm sitting here at work typing this up. But the holiday season is our busiest time of year when we have lots of parties for the kids, Gala fundraisers and not to mention hospital visits. I know what you're thinking, all I do is take pictures and print them out. Thats not the hard part. I always have nothing to do, but then I get bombarded with projects and meetings and events when it seems that I have no time to even grab lunch! I've also been freaking out when I go to the hospital. I try to stay away from visiting the kids in there as much as I can, but sometimes I just need to suck it up, be professional and do my job. Can you even imagine how hard it is to see an 11 year old girl begging for more morphine because the pain she's in is overwhelming? To look into their eyes and see them sparkle when you take them some stickers or a picture of them with their brothers and sisters, wow. Now imagine seeing a little bit of yourself in those same eyes, in those same hospital rooms, every time you visit. It's even harder when you become close friends and a mentor of some sort with one of these kids, and they lose their battle. Imagine. When I was first diagnosed and going through chemotherapy, I kept asking the inevitable "why me?" question. Now that I am cured and healthy, I still find myself asking the same question: Why me? Why did I survive at a time when 7 out of every 10 children with cancer were dying? The ratio has since then changed to 3 out of 10, but that means there are still inocent kids losing life to a horrible illness. How do you deal knowing that you survived the same thing someone else couldnt? ok let's stop with the depression! whew... NMSU kicked UTEP's ass at the big game. I had alot of fun and we bumped into alot of people. Then Nepha's bf and the guy I went on that blind date with drove up to Las Cruces and we all went bar hopping. After that we went off roading in the desert! I was screaming like such a little bitch begging him to stop, then laughing my ass off and telling him to do it again! :D It's totaly safe since you're in the dessert and it's nothing but sand around you, so its not like you're going to hit a tree or anything. I have a ton of math hw to do, and I'm behind on my readings for history! I need to bring my grade up if I'm going to make the Dean's List. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about school yet for next semester. I have alot of thinking to do. God, growing up is such a bitch. I want my mami! Yes, mami. I call my parents Mami y Papi. How gay. I love it.

Blind date was a success! I made a big deal out of nothing and he actually turned out to be VERY funny and very cool. I had alot of fun and now I am off to Las Cruces for the battle of I-10! NMSU -vs- UTEP Nepha Gaby and I shall be boozing it up and cheering wildly! Go aggies!!!!!

I'm going to see Creed (again) today. I know, hate me. :( Work is work, right? So anyway, I dont like this pink layout, but I'm not going to change it because I am too lazy. So if you'd like to donate a new hot layout to my worthy cause, feel free to do so. Hmm....I'm trying to think of cool shit to write about, but my life is pretty much mucho boring atm. I went out with Julian and Margaret last night to Taco Cabana and we had margaritas. I know how sad. We tried going to Double Daves, but they were out of Pear Cider :( Oh, I have a blind date on Friday. :O Nepha is setting me up with some guy and I don't know anything about him, except he's tall and he's funny. har har She gave him my url, and he told her he thought I was 'hott". NEPHA i hate you. Thanks. Gaby is going too, so it wont be too weird. I hate the fact that he knows what I look like though. :( Does that make any sense? Probably not. I'm super sleepy and it's going to be a LOOONG night of watching kids, taking pictures, and doing other concert stuff. :/ yay me!