Happy Birthday to me!!! Yesterday was really fun. The gang and I went to Tuna's and had a blast drinking there. Ju-Ju took some pictures so i'll just post those. And that was the night in a nutshell. Some friends and i, going from sober and cute, to drunk and moronic. I love you guys! <3 :P

I just broke a peice of my wisom tooth off. :( Send get well soon cards ASAP.

wow, isnt it funny how some things work out? It seems that when you've lost faith in everyone and everyting, and youv been lied to so many times you dont even know whats real and what isnt. i am 4 days away from turning 22, and in the past few months ive learned so much about me; who i am, what i want to be and what i want and need from other people. I need the following: -friendship -trust -kindness -truth -laughs -sincerity -hugs I dont need: -lies -fakeness -rudeness -fair weathered friendship -lies -lies -lies So basically, I've been screwed over, big fuckin deal, who hasnt. Someone once told me you always rach a point when you just look at someone and think, that its the one last time yu can let them ge away with something. I know people have felt that way about me. Despite everything, it all works out in the end. I know who my friends are, I know who the people who genuinely care about me are. I dont know where I'd be without my friends. You guys mean th world to me. And i better see ALL OF YOU (that means you too lencho) at Tunas on thursday! THE PLAN -go to Aceitunas at about 7 pm -get a table and start drinking -sing happy birthday and Las Ma�anitas -have all of you buy me a shot -puke in the pond -get that certain someone fired -keep on partying! Sounds like a plan? Toot Toot! Its going to be great! Gaby, plz take a nap or make arrangements to miss class on friday. All you other summer schoolers, same goes for you. Aaron, i know youre too young and can't go, I told you you should've stolen Billy's ID, you guys are like twins! :X I'm happier than I've been in a long time! <3

I'm so dissapointed. You piss me off. :(

Ooops, I'm a moron. It should work now, so go take it. No new updates or boobs till you do! Take my Quiz Jerks!

Last night was so much fun. It was a total Girls Nigh Out! Gaby, (and Daniel) Nepha, Karla, Karla, Ariana, Natalia, Brenda, Ju-Ju and I went to Aceituna's! We got there and it was super packed full of people, like you could barely even walk around, but we had a table there so it was gravy. I saw so many people there that I knew who I hadnt seen in along time. I saw Brian Givens and I think after that little indecent proposal he made me at Joe Wardy's victory party, he lost all his cuteness. I talked to him for a while though because Brenda wanted to hook up with his roomate. I saw this guy, Peque. Him and I made out a few times when I was a freshman in college and he's one of Gaby's bf's best friends. Well, like a few weeks after Peque and I were making out, Gaby and I were at the country club and we were in the bathroom and this girl walks in. They talk and whatever, then I ask her who she is and she tells me she's Peques gf's. And so I said, woah, the same peque I've been making out with? And Gaby and I are like, what a dog, he totally cheated on his gf. :( Well we went outside and Peque was waiting for his gf there, it was akward but whatever, we were pretty buzzed. So last night him and I talked for a while. He asked me where we were going afterwards and I told him I had to take Nepha and Ju-Ju to their car, and he was like, well come to stampede with me. hello! Anyway, I didnt end iup going because he's a jerk that cheats on his gf's. :( But i like him. Oh well, whatever.my b-0day is 2 weeks away. I know we're going to Tuna's that night fo' sho'! This probably made no sense to anyone who doesnt know me. I have some cool ideas i "borrowed" from Ryan that I'm gonna use for my new layout. toot toot. Dawsons Creek finale = saddest thing ever I cried. Damn you Gaby!

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The shit has hit the fan yet again everyone. I'm such a drama queen, so disregard anything I may say. I'm still kind of bummed out about certain things (those of you close to me know why) and I'm starting to realize that men suck, and that I suck even harder for being so damn co-dependent. I guess I have Ryan to thank for me realizing that I'm such a co-dependent infantile little bitch. I kind of lose it when all atention isnt focused on me 200%. But hey, at least I can admit that. Regardless, I'm feeling better now and I'll probaby forget about it by next week. My birthday is coming up. Its 17 days away. I'll be 22, but I'm actually happy about it now, because, well I dont know why, I just am. I've had alot of those "closure" moments recently, and I realized that no matter how much I miss highschool and the way my life was back then, I have to look ahead and focus on my future, not lament the past. Yeah, so anyway Meg Ju-Ju and I went to Natalies graduation party, which we kind of had trouble finding since it was in the Northeast and we don't ever go there. Northeast El Paso is kind of scary, so we had to stop at a gas station twice and look on maps to find the place. After that I called CornFed and him an Wes and Tony were going to go to the Bryar Patch so we all met up with them there. It wasnt too action packed, but it was fun. I <3 gay bars, they have the best juke boxes. Where else can you play anyMadonna song ever released or hear a bunch of guys singing all the words to "It's Raining Men"??!?! I love it. *sigh* I still feel weird, fhdkjghjhgsjxfhgkjd. Ryan tried to trick me and have some funny aim convo with me about gonorreah, but I was MUCH too smart for him. The actual convo was great, but he had to edit it so he would look triumphant for his readers. Let the truth be known, I knew it was him all along! hahahaha! sucka! :P Work sucks, I have nothing to do. I just sit and wait for some of the kids to stop by so we can all shoot some pool. Susy blows. thx

HALLELUJAH! PRAISE THE LORD SCHOOL IS OVER AND SUMMER IS HERE! Finals are over and done with, and now, it is time to party my friends. Last summer was an exceptional amount of fun, and I'm sure that this summer will be even better, if at all possible. Last night I called Corn-Fed and he was with Wes at the gas station, and they told me they were going to pick me up, so be ready in 15. Well I get ready and I have no intention of driving, but Corn-Fed tells me he just came to drop Wesley off and that he was out of there. So I ended up driving me and Wes to Ju-Ju's house and then we went to King's X. Meg came over to King's X too and we were all just out on the patio talking and catching up with Wes since he just disapears months at a time. He just needs to get over Nikki and move on. That girl looks like a boy and she dresses like crap. Anyway... Meg isnt sure where she wants to go to Law School anymore. She was thinking she would just go to UT Austin since they gave her a full ride, but she really wanted to go to U. of Chicago, but I dont think she liked it too much when she visited last month. Then Ju-Ju wants her to go to Berkly so he can go visit her and get queer in San Fran. I want meg to go to NYU, so I can visit her there. All the people she works with right now at the judges office are telling her to go to NYU too. I think she should just pick the lawschool with the cutest boys. hahaha Ok i dont, but I think NYU is great! And she said if she did go to NYU her and I could go to Buffalo and look for Luke. (i hope hes not reading this!) I'm just so happy for Meg, shes done with all this under-grad bullshit and now she's going to leave us and go to law school. I told her shed have to support me when she graduated. Since she'll be entirely too busy to do anything but work, I'll be shopping for her drab boring suits and making her the hottest lawyer around! So anyway, maybe it turns out that some guysdo care about how many chicks they sleep with. I think anyone can get laid, but the trick is not having sex just for the pure carnal pleasure of it all. I know i've turned down one nighters before, just because I cant really see the point of sleeping with someone when theres no emotions involved. yeah, ok. I've been watching waaaaaay too much dawsons creek lately. Why can't I date a guy like Pacey instead of the usual scumbag assholes that I date? Any guys watch dawsons creek that arent gay? If so, please date me. thx.

Anxiety sucks. Don't you hate that uneasy feeling you get and you just cant shake it off, you cant relax for a little tiny bit? I've had it for a while now. Arial has it too. Maybe it's because we both live in the same city and the water is making us go psycho. I told him to dig a tunel from his house to mine to kill the anxiety. hehehehe :/ Paulo isn't going to Vegas anymore, which makes me glad my friends and I arent going to Vegas anymore either cause then we'd have Paulo's overly un-sensetive friends hitting on us! :P j/k P-Dawg Susy sounds like a 7 yr old on speed on the phone! Skeletor! etc We had a fun time talking on the phone making fun of a certain someone who shall remain nameless (Skeletor) hahahaha Do you ever feel like something is missing in your life, and just when you think you found it, you realize that nothing is quite what it seems to be? I live in such a fantasy world i swear. At tim like this I just try to stay positive and I remember how hard it was for me do deal with having cancer and all the things I overcame and all the odds I beat. Sometimes life doesnt seem worth trying for anymore, but I remeber that I was totally given a second shot at life and I dont think I wouldve gotten it if someone didnt think i deserved it and knew that I would someday be happy. *sigh* I havent been completely happy the past few days, now I know why and I'm doing something about it. I hate the way that I let other people have some control over my feelings. It sucks, it blows, and I once again vow to never let that happen again. I dont know if that person is reading this, or even knows this is about them, but if the shoe fits...... I have finals tomorrow, wish me luck! Hopefully the anxiety will go away after that. Ugh..l tottally forgot. Amado Pe�a, (he'a a southwest paintor) who gave me a scholarship is going to be in town and invited me and some other people bowling then to Cafe Central. I have to find something scholarly and sweet to wear. I'm gonna hit him up for an increase in my scholarship, The anxiety will end when he says "yes". :D ohhhhh before I forget, RYAN, THE LAKERS WILL ALWAYS ROCK!

I'm sick of everything school related. I hate it allllll. The only thing I'm going to miss in the summer is the people at school, the Escalade guys, and Scoopy's. I can always drive up there anyway. I have all 3 of my finals on Thursday, which should be fun. :/ But hey, summer is officially less than a week away and I am ready for it. Although we wont be going to Vegas as planned, we might go some other time during the summer. I know Gaby and Nepha are going to come to Dallas with Aaron and I, so it'll be fun. I might go to PHX with JImmy this summer too, but he's too skanky and I dont know if I can keep up with his party mode. Cesar asked me to go to Miami in the summer with him too, but I dont want to go there! Theres so many hott chicks with gorgeous faces, big fake boobs and tight abs, I don't need any low self esteem. anyway... This weekend was a blast yet again. Friday I went to Erin's Bar again with Ju-Ju, Margaret, Albert, Yanar, Yazmin, and Jacob. We had a blast just being retards and dancing around. Some gross old man gave me a kiss on the cheek, which totally freaked me out. Then on Sat. I went to Joe Wardy's victory party, which was super fun. I got so trashed and afterwards Ju-Ju and I went to the Bryar Patch (gay bar) and we hung out there, Corn-Fed was there so we had a blast talking with him and all these other gay guys that kept saying hi to us. I realized alot of things this weekend too, as far as things that make me happy and things that stress me out. I have decided to stop selling myself so damn short all the time and letting people walk over me, because it's getting old already. I am getting older and I'm realizing that my life is totally what I make of it. I haven't ever really spoken up or done anything to help me out of fear. Fear of my peers and elders, and fear of failing. But now that I've been taking risks, I see that you don't always fail and that trying things out can only make me a stronger person. oooooookay ::gets off soapbox:: I'm working on a new layout, maybe i'll stop being lazy and finish it, who knows! and i have a question: Do guys ever worry that their number of sex partners is too high? Hit up the comments and let me know!