You booze....you lose Holy shit I got completely obliterated lst night, but let me start from the begining. Ju-ju and I went to TUNA'S and met up with Wes and Tony. Sat down, got the first round of beers. Chit-chat...blah blah...second round of beer. Tony's sister and bro in law get there, 3rd and 4th round of beers. Note: it takes about 3 to 5 beers for the author of this post to become drunk and obnoxious. We decide to head on over to The Stampede and keep drinking there. Well when we got outside, Tony's truck had been blocked in by some shitty ass Sebring from Juarez. They paged the owner, but theguy refused to come out. Tony's bro in law used his Explorer to pull the car out of the way and then Wes went all ape-shit and started hitting the car with a bat! Well all of a sudden the owner of the car runs out, but we had all hauled ass into the cars by then and drove off to The Stampede. I had 2 more drinks there and I was ready to get down and dirty with Wes, when Edgar calls me and asks what I'm doing. I told him where I was and he says he's going over. Bleh! So we're all outside having a smoke and Ju-Ju big nuts walks over to me and tells me Edga4 is there at the club, and so is Don! My face went like this... =:8O...or something like that! I walk around inside trying to "bump" into Don, but I bumped into Edgar first. Ju-Ju just kept pulling me through the crowd and sure enough, there was Don! So I was pretty smooth about bumping into him and whatnot. He was there withhi buddy Carlos and I just stood there like an idiot because when I see Don I just turn into this social ass-wipe. So I excuse myself and goback out into the smokers patio and tell Ju-Ju what happened. By then Wes had some blonde bimbo sitting on his lap so I figured I'd get my own meat head to come down with me, so I called Edgar over. After that Wes was pretty much like "Baby...where you going?" HA!!! Don't pretend I didnt see you feeling up that airhead! But whatever. Moral of this story is all 3 of the guys that I'm digging at the moment were there, and I was sauced, and I threw up all night. I missed my most important meeting ever that was at 10:00 am today, and I didnt get to go swimming with Lauren my Lover tonight. Damn you rain!!!! k I'm done now.

yes.....i'm back Hey everyone! The FTP was finally fixed up and now I'm back and better than EVER~!!! Well I dont know about that, but I sure have lots to talk about and bore you with. And I have new incentives for pictures and a new layout in the works. It doesnt get better than this! Ho ho.....so anyway, Edgar is old news now. He's pretty boring and he doesnt know how to party. Sorry, but hangng out with your trailer park trash friends and drinking keystone light around the pool IS NOT my idea of fun. I am now more interested in these other 2 guys (not in a tag team sort of way). One of them, Wes, is pretty cute, but he's a scrub. You know...hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride....yeah. But he isnt broke or anything. So he just likes riding in his friends truck....no big deal...for now. Guy numero dos, is the supreme being of all men!!! His name is Don, and he is just beautiful. Perfect. ahhh, but he also goes to school down in Nashville. Vanderbilt....grrrrrr!~~!! So yeah, since then I have turned 21, been drunk every night, gotten a beer gut and done all that other crazy 21 year old bullshit that is already getting old. Tonight I will be at Double Dave's Pizza Works. They have 50 cent draft!!!! :D:D:D:D ahem.....guys, I want fan signs because they make me have high self esteem! And if you buy me stuff just by clicking on that "bored rich guys" link, i'll love you forever. And I'm not just saying that! So keep me happy and excited! I'll post more later because my brain is just making no sense.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Feeling kinda bummed.... It's that time again when I start questioning so many things and looking to find answers to questions that only God can answer. I realized that moping over a guy or any little petty thing in life is just a waste of time. I remembered the letter I wrote to Gerard after he passed away, and after I read it, I felt at peace. So what if I havent seen Edgar again? I really think that by the time he comes around and realizes what a cool chick I am, it'll be too late. So boo fuckin hoo! I met Victor on Thursday and he's a super interesting and sweet guy. Lauren (my lover in the picture below) thinks that he likes me....soooooooo...we'll se what happens. On friday my boss told me that a reporter from the Boston Globe was looking to write a feature article about childhood cancer survivors, and she had told her about me, so it looks like I might get picked as the subject! It's just been swimming around in myhead, maybe thats why I've been sorta bummed. Anyway, I know I had posted this letter before, but maybe some of you hadn't seen it. Hope you like it. �Can I tell you something, Lisa? Promise not to get mad?� �Sure.� �I think your face looks a little rounder than it used to be, like you kind of gained some weight.� �Aughhhhh�.did you just call me �fat� Gerard?� �No, you don�t look bad, I was just making a comment.� �Gerard, I love you, but not in that way, so don�t get excited.� �I know what you mean. I love you too.� That was some of the bits from my last conversation with Gerard, about 1 week before he passed away. I hadn�t gone to visit him for a while because I wasn�t sure I could deal with seeing him. I was expecting the worst, but when I saw him, he didn�t look at all like what I had imagined him. He looked like he always did, just a few pounds lighter, and with some sideburns. We joked around and laughed, just like we always did. Gerard taught me so much about life. He set an example for all of us with his bravery. Everyone who met him was instantly drawn to him; his personality was amazing. He always kept a positive attitude and made sure that other people around him stayed positive too. He would always tell me to stop being so �fresa� and trying to be something I wasn�t. He would always say something of mine was nice��for him to poop on. He knew that I loved n*sync and kept on yelling, �you guys suck� at the concert just to spite me. When I heard that Gerard had passed away, I thought that someone had made a mistake. We had all said hi to him the night before. We all sobbed and wailed at the airport. Some people even stopped to ask if we were all ok. I cried for hours, and it still hurts to think that I will never see that smile again. But I will not mourn for Gerards death anymore. He wouldn�t want any of us to, and I can just imagine him saying that too. Instead I choose to celebrate his life, and treasure all the great memories that I was able to share with him. People always say that you need to let loved ones know how you feel about them before it�s too late. I am glad I put my selfishness aside and got to see Gerard and let him know that I loved him. There were some things I didn�t say that I would like to let him know. Gerard, thank you for being you, for always having the best smile in the world on your face even when none of us were brave enough to do the same. You taught me that life is what you make of it, and that you can turn something bad into something good. I felt so helpless so many times, like I wasn�t quite sure of what I could do to help you, cure you, or make the pain go away. I think not having answers to so many questions is what makes us feel useless, but I do promise you one thing. I survived cancer for a reason, whatever that may be. I would�ve done anything to switch places with you and let you live, because no one I know deserves to live more than you did. I can�t do that, but I promise to never regret being alive, and making sure that not a single day of my life is ever wasted. I will remember to always look at the brighter side of things and not let the small things in life get me down. You truly set an example with your life to all of us, Gerard. Thank you, for teaching me more about life than I ever knew. I�ll see you in heaven, buddy. Love, Lisa

my lover and i!!

ha ha ha holly mole! I got into a car accident on I-10 yesterday! It was me and a motorcycle! Two gay guys were on the bike and they rear ended my car. Nothing happened, no one was hurt, and I just laughed my ass off. Like this... :D he he he he :D Edgar called me from work today! :D:D:D Must mean he digs me if he's calling me from his work, right? Go Lisa go Lisa! And I talked to Aaron today also, not applebee's Aaron, TKE Aaron. I saw Applebees Aaron on Saturday when he came over to mi casa. TKE Aaron called me today and he said he would cook dinner for me! :D I'm allllll smiles today! go lisa go lisa!

Someone hurry up and throw a pity party for me.... I had a really interesting day today, for more reasons than one. Want to read about them? :/ Today I was at work, not really doing anything so they asked me to run across the street to the hospital to take some toys and stuff to one of our kids. (I work at an organization for kids with cancer.) So I go over, and I gave him some Star Wars action figures and some coloring books and Play Dough. I sat in the room with him and his mom for a little while and chit-chatted with him. I just kind of talked to him about my experiences with cancer, and how I am all better now. I asked him if he needed anything else, and he said he wanted stickers. He didn't really care what kind of stickers, so I teased him and asked if Barbie stickers were ok. Thrn I asked him what he would give me in return for these stickers, and he looked at me right in the eyes and said "a hug." He had been laying down in his bed the whole time, but he then sat up and streched out his arms for me. I hugged him and I swear, I have never felt so good about doing something before. When I left his room and I walked back to the office, I started to kind of cry. I saw so much of myself in this little boys eyes. His mom called me later and told me that my visit had cheered him up and he was asking when I would go back. The fact that I was able to make someone happy and give them some hope to keep fighting for their life made me feel better than anything has ever made me feel. Seeing all the kids that stop by the office and run to hug me and ask me to play with them, and seeing them whine when they have to leave, it makes me feel like I've finally found what I want to do for the rest of my life because it just feels so right. Like I'm sitting here typing to no one, but it makes me feel great and somehow, I feel like I'm finally at home where I belong. Cheesey, I know. :) On the other hand, I just got off the phone with Edgar a whike ago and it's like, this guy just blows me away. I dont think I've ever been so smitten (is that the right word) by a guys mind before. I love talking to him and hearing all the things he has to say. Just the same way he can have a deep conversation with me, he can just go off and start talking like a total guy, and it's great! Even if I just end up as his friend, I'd be happy because he's by far one of the deepest, most interesting people I've ever met. And he uses big words too, boys and girls! I have to admit, I really want to see him again because kissing him was delicious. (like you all really cared or even wanted to know) I dont know. who knows. Do you know?

It's been awhile....... Ok ok....It's been over a week since I last posted, I'm lazy what can I say. Another hectic week at work with tons of stuff to be done. This week I've been so tired, I'm walking around like a zombie...as seen in the cam pic. In other news, I went on a date with that guy I met at Reno's a few weekends ago. . He's actually good-looking and he's a really interesting guy. We talked about a lot of deep subjects and we were both pretty much on the same wavelength on alot of things. We didnt really do anything special, just kind of hung out at his friends pool and drank some cerveza. It was all pretty mellow untill everyone there left to go to the bathroom, except me and the guy that lived there, we stayed by the pool. Well to make a long story even longer, this guys girlfriend walks in and starts yelling at him for telling her that he was just going to go to bed and not do anything that night. Then...omg....she looks at me and asks me if I'm having fun with her boyfriend. So I just went into shock and I thought...."oh my god...this girl is going to pop me in the face...." As if I wasnt already scared enough, she starts slamming her hand on the table and throwing chairs around!!! I thought I was gonna get it good, and all I could do was just sit there and watch. So this guy is telling her that I'm there with someone else and she gets even more mad...ahhh....I guess you had to be there. Ooooh and I got a new cell phone from work....and it has unlimited airtime!!!!! :D All the minutes I can talk...for free!!! <3 my job Cesar is having his big "end of school" bash this saturday. I told him to make it into a surprise party for me, but as usual he said no. jerk! Every year I tell him to do it, and every year he says no. I havent gone in like.....5 years to this party, so I feel that I need to make a cameo this year. However I wont be swimming. I'll just sit by the jungle juice and laugh at Fat Albert when he drives his car into someones house again. (sorry fatty, you're just the worst drunk driver ever) It should be fun if I ignore all those people that will be there that annoy me. *note to self...get ear plugs* aaaand....I have some fan signs to post on here! Thanks guys!

booo

*Insert topic here* I have been working like a dog for the last week! It has been beyond crazy at work, tons of stuff to be done, not enough hours in the day, and then theres the fact that I procrastinate till the very last minute. I have a feeling that this Dinner Party tonight is not going to be all that great, and people will be upset. But thats work for ya. At least some of the stress has been lifted. Now onto more exciting news.... That guy I met at Reno's last friday called me! *yay* Well, he's been calling, but I lost his number and I dont have caller ID at home (dont ask) so I get home from work last night and my dad tells me some chris guy and some edgar guy called. So I *69 and sure enough....i get Edgar and I tell him what happened, my friends maid threw away the paper where u wrote ur number down...etc...he didnt really beleive me, but I told him this story was too weird to make up. Anywho...I also had a HUGE scare with my eyes. After they told me i couldnt have the lasik done, the DR told me I had a disease caled keratoconus...which means my corneas are turning intolittle cones and then they'll start ripping and scarring and eventually I'll need a cornea transplant. That scared the shit out of me, and I cried for hours and hours on tuesday. So Gibber Gabber...thats why I was so blah about going to the UTEP bar with u guys and stuff. I'm sorry i was so biznatch-ey, but I thought I was slowly going blind! But I got fited with my contacts and I wont need the cone shaped ones for Keratoconus...she (the dr) told me that it was a very mild case, and she didnt think I would need a cornea transplant untill I'm about 40 or so. So yay me...If anyone has any corneas I can have when I'm ready for the transplant...feel free to contact me! :D

I'm a whore again!! yay me Jeree and I went to Reno on friday....gawd oh gawd we had a fuckin blast!!! We danced all night...we got free beer....and I met a guy. I was to drunk to see his face clearly, but everyone told me he was hot...unless everyone got together and decided to play a cruel and unusual joke on me. I felt like a Juarez Downtown Strip Reno ho'! It was fun to re-live the magic i once had. Dancing...making out...i had to laugh when he tried to lick my boobs...ha. Slutty girls usually laugh when stuff like that happens. This guy was funny, I know that much. He kept on saing "lets make out" and then he says "you're tall, you're pretty and ur hot...youre my kinda girl." I just had to laugh...he kept on saying he needed my number because I was his dream girl. So I go to the pool today and my mom tells me some dood called, and yep it was him. I need to see him on a sober basis...check him out. heh....ok this was lame.

Guess who didn't get lasik???? Fuck Fuck Fuck!!! I knew it!!!! I show up at the Dr's office and they get me all prepped for the surgery, then i see them give valium to the chick next to me, but i dont get any, so I'm like wtf.....Then they call me over to re-measure my cornea, then i sit and wait. Still no valium. Then the re-re-re-remeasure my cornea...and i sit and wait some more...no valium yet either. Then they call me over to the conference room and i KNEW what they were gonna tell me. That I had shitty corneas and that they couldnt lazer-ize my eye. I was ok with this, as long as I got my fuckin contacts back on. My mom on the other hand was crying. Shes the one that made me go see this doctor and made me get the lasik that i never wanted. So when they said "no-can-do", shes the one that needed the valium to chill out. After that she took me to the mall and I got a dress and some pants and some shirts and 2 pairs of shoes and some lunch and some makeup and just anything I wanted because my mom knows that the aure fire way to make me happy is shopping. So maybe I acted a little sadder than I was...hahaha. Well we shop and then we go buy some solution for my contacts and I get home, open up the case...and my fuckin left contact is broken!!!! SHITSHITSHIT!!!! ahhhhhhhh Hey God...I know I'm just a dot in this world have you forgot about me? :( So Ima go bust down the door at the eye doctor tomorrow and tell em its an emergency. I'll prolly just wear my one contact and be cross eyed when i go out and such. Ill wear these piece of mierda glasses in the mean-fuckin-time! Shit! Fuck! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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All my ex's live in Texas.... Yes that is a country song, yech! I despise country music, but I was still @ the Stampede (a country club) on thursday. We were bored out of our minds! Ahhhh what was I thinking when I said that we should go there?? slap me next time I suggest we go there! We got there like at 10:30...it was dead. Then we left at 12:30, but we saw Ruben and John at the door waitin to get in, AND then...we saw Joey Knapp!!! So Lauren almost passed out and we went back in. After that it was allll gravy! We were at the bar right next to the UTEP football guys and I saw this one dude....he be fine! i was like....omg omg omg....and he was standing right behind me, so I'm asking Jeree to push me into him! She didnt! Grrrr Jeree!!! Well then I see Mike and Greg, and Mike and I go off to have a heart to heart, and he tells me that he realized that he will never feel what he felt for me with anyone else and blah blah blah....then he says...be my gf again! haha....i swear, he must have been on crack! I was like.....HELLO!!! Do you not remember how I spent all that time in therapy because of you! ahhh...and then Jeree told me that the guy I liked form the UTEP team was giving me "the eye",but then he stoped because Mike was all over me trying to get me to kiss him!!! what a cockblocker@!!! augh! Then Friday at Reno's it was fun...danced, laughed at the guys that tried to get all freaky and rub their weiners on our bum bum's! Saturday we just lyed out by the pool and tanned! It was a fun weekend! yay Lisa yay

I am bored!! :D

Osea....ni al caso, guey. OMG...ok, so I'm doing a random search on Yahoo for this store in El Paso called Armoire, and I see this link. This is a web page from my old alma matter, New Mexico State University. I read this and I was crackin up. If you know me, you know I hate the words Frontchi, and Juare�o. I hate them with a passion...grrrrr. But i digress. This article is hilarious, and now I want to go out and do the same thing. The hang outs that this so called "fresa" names are not only ghetto and do not meet 'frontchi" standards, but they are full of "nacos" from El Paso. Then I saw that this was written in 1996. :( Those places were the ish back then. Now its like....La Serata and El Sphinje aka La Piramide and of course Tesguinos and The News. I really want to do an up-dated expose on Fresa culture and compare how times have changed for us. haha....Don't you love it? Simon Guey! A huevo Primos!!! Oushhhhhhhhh! Slap me...Please.

I see London I see France..... I saw a mudda fuckin guy with MC Hammer pants!!! I kid you not, but the MC Hammer pants aren't the best part of what I saw. I should start from the begining. I was driving home today, and I see some jerk in a Harley cut me off. So I speed up next to this guy to give him the "look", and I see that he has these Hammer time pants on. Then I get a better look at him and I see that his haircut isn't quite right. And then it hits me. OHMYGOD! I got cut off by a jerk on a Harley wearing MC Hammer pants that has a mullet!!!!! And then I saw him turn into the country club. I am so blessed to have this man as my neighbor!