Hi my name is Lisa, I'm 21 years old, and I have a problem. I date guys that treat me like shit and I like it! hahaha OK so Marcus gave me the ever ppular "I need time to myself right now" talk and somehow that makes me so sad and so angry and so confused. I miss him like crazy, but what am I gonna do? Well I have decided a few things. I am going to move back to New Mexico. Thats right, I'm going to go back to NMSU. :D It is something that I've been debating for a while, but now with all this drama (not just the Marcus drama) going on in my life, I think it's best if I just go away. I know, I'm such a chicken for running from my problems. My car is still dead, so I finally got sick of waiting for my dad to call a repair place and do someting about it, so I called one on my own. I sounded like a moron tyring to explain what was wrong with my car to that man. So I go downstairs and ask my dad if he jump starts the car does he think I could make it to the shop. And he says he already called someone. Grrrr. I hate being without a car. I have also been enjoying beign a groupie. :D I've been partying with the Washington and Purdue football payers this weekend. I had sooo much fun. We danced allll night long and they were so fun and cute and cool! Why can't NMSU or UTEP football players be so cool? OK, well there is that ONE utep football player that makes me swoon, but thats another story. My friends and I are going to the Sun Fiesta today, so it should be good! Then we're all gonna go to the Sun Bowl tomorrow. We dont know a damn thing about football, but we're going to get wasted and cheer for the cute guys.

Last night my friends and I got together to celebrate Christmas. I was still crying because I have no idea what is going on with Marcus, so at first I was kind of blah. Then Nepha told us that Mario had proposed to her, so we all got happy. Karla Rivera and Leo are more in love than ever, but he's in Acapulco with his family right now, so she was just really bummed out. Ariana and Roman are still together and things are great for her. Karla Sanchez is still with the Cesar drama that never ends and she swears that this time they broke up for good. Natalia is still my partner in crime for the girls who just cant have a relationship. We all went around ij a circle and said what we were thankful for, and we were all pretty much thankfull for the same things. Our friendship. Everyone said things that really came from the heart, and we all realized that guys come and go, other people come and go, jobs come and go, but we always have each other and we know that when we get together everything is kind of put on hold because we have a true friendship. Of course we all caught up on gossip, shared secrets (that had been kpt for years and years) and we laughed. Karla had this little book that her mom gave her on love. We talked about love and relationships and feelings and emotions and how we felt. I can honestly say that I dont think I have ever bonded with someone in that way. Everything we talked about made me realize just how much I have changed. I thought that I had changed and become a better person by becoming more open minded and trusting people. I have been such an idiot because I have let myself grow apart from my friends and I started hanging out with people that I would never even associate with a few years ago. I dont mean to sound like a snob, if anything, I'm glad that I'm not a snob anymore and that I am capable of seeing past the physical and more into the soul. We stayed up till 1 am talking, and my friends made me feel so good and they helped me see that I'm worth more than this, and if he isn't mature enough to pick up a phone and call me, at least to tell me that he hates me, then I'm not the one with the problem. I learned alot about what love is, what love does, what love takes, and that love hurts. After talking with Karla, I saw that she and Leo were really in love and that I've never felt that way about anyone before. I have loved people, but never have I gotten the feelings that she described. Do I love Marcus? Yes. Am in love with him? No. I would be crazy to say that. I am so hurt, I cant even find any other words to say how much it hurts. It hurts that I'm not going to call him, and it hurts knowing that he probably isnt going to call me. The hardest part is trying to understand how he could've changed so much. I thought that he was the man that I had always dreamed of. He had so many qualities that I thought were what I was looking for in a partner. He treated me like a princess, he made me feel so special, so cared for, so loved. And how he was able to just take it all away without explaining anything, and from one day to the next, I dont underastand. last night when I got home, I was reflecting on what I had talked about with my friends, then I thought of Marcus and i started to cry. I miss him. I miss him so much. So I did something that I do when I've lost all hope and I need someone to talk to who will just listen. I prayed. Not so much because I miss Marcus, but because I need to able to find happiness somewhere else. I was fine before I met him, and I want to feel fine again. I just hope that God helps me find the strength in me to move on if he is indeed out of my life. God, this hurts so much. :(

:( I cant even tell you how sad I feel. I'm a retard for even puting a guy in a possition where he could affect me so much. Things with Marcus aren't exctly good. The worst part is I have no idea whats going on with him. He's acting completely cold, avoiding me, and not returning my calls. Who wouldve known that an un-returned phone call or an un answered phone could hurt so much? i don't even know what I did this time, because usually I say some fucked up thing, but I cant think of anything I couldve said or done. I've been crying all day, well, the mall cheered me up a little bit. I finished buying my x-mas presents and I got him his gift, although by the way things are, I dont think he really wants to talk to me, let alone see me. I'd like to think that I am not a bad person, that I try to do the right thing and that I always try to work problems out. I have no clue what is going through Marcus' head right now, and I would give anything to know, because if he doesnt want to see me anymore, I would feel better knowing. Mayeb I'm overreacting, maybe he has things to do and he hasnt had time to talk to me. Maybe he just needs a break from me. I dont know. :( It hurts soo much, I dont even know what to do. The thing that hurts the most is just realizing that I am completely incapable of holding onto someone. What's wrong with me??? I never needed a relationship to be happy, but when I'm in a situation like it, it makes me so sad. The only thing I want is for things to work out between us, because I have never met anyone like him. Ive never met anyone who I was willing to fight for more than him. I feel like he's what I need, what I want, what makes me happy. I was listening to my favorite Creed song today, and I feel as if that song was written for me. So much that when I saw them in concert both time, I started crying when they played this song. It's perfect. Don't Stop Dancing At times life is wicked and I just can�t see the light A silver lining sometimes isn�t enough To make some wrongs seem right Whatever life brings I�ve been through everything And now I�m on my knees again But I know I must go on Although I hurt I must be strong Because inside I know that many feel this way Children don�t stop dancing Believe you can fly Away�away At times life�s unfair and you know it�s plain to see Hey God I know I�m just a dot in this world Have you forgot about me? Whatever life brings I�ve been through everything And now I�m on my knees again But I know I must go on Although I hurt I must be strong Because inside I know that many feel this way Am I hiding in the shadows? Forget the pain and forget the sorrows But I know I must go on Although I hurt I must be strong Because inside I know that many feel this way Children don�t stop dancing Believe you can fly Away�away Am I hiding in the shadows? Are we hiding in the shadows?

I am sooooooooo sad today. :( Marcus and I got into an argument last night and he has not called me today. I think I jinxed it by writing about him on here. We have this huge meeting tonight with the board members and I have to read a letter supporting my boss. I am so nervous since I am the youngest one working here and I doint think those people will take me seriously. On a better note, my friend Jeree flys in from Delaware today. I get to meet her husband and stuff. She wants to go to Reno tonight, but I dont feel like walking over the bridge into mexico in this 30 degree weather in my hoochie mama shirts. I would really much rather just spend some time with Marcus. :( I hope he calls me.

It's been a long time since I felt the way I feel today. About 2 months ago I felt ontop of the world, it felt soooo good to be me and it seemed that everythign was going right. Now I feel like my life has gone into the complete oposite direction. People that know me may have heard me say "I think God forgot about me." It's so dramatic and so lame of me to say, but man, it sure does feel that way more often than not. Christmas should be a time whn you're full of happiness and joy and cheer. I feel like I'm full of pesimistic thoughts of self pity and finding myself crying over stupid little things. (and NO this is NOT PMS.) If it wasnt for my job, I would feel so lonely. It seems like I push myself away from my friends sometimes, because I'm changing, and my views onflict with theirs. I have new friends, but we're not that close. I miss how things used to be in highschool! I feel lonely sometimes, even though I have so many people around me that love me and care about me. I guess I just really try to be accepted by everyone, and when someone doesnt accept me, it sucks. When things dont go as I planned, it sucks. And when the one person who matters so much to me, doesnt give me the attention i crave/want/need it really sucks. Alot, maybe more than I'm willing to admit, comes down to that. I fel so self concious and insecure. I always wonder if im smart enough, if im pretty enough, if im sexy enough, if i'm good enough. I want to make this work so much, because I feel like I am somehow incapable of having any sort of romantic relationship with someone of the opposite sex. I don't know if it's me, if it's my insecurity that makes me less attractive, or if maybe I just havent found someone who is trully right for me. I'v been seeing someone for the past 7 weks,and I havent written about him on here because I dont want to jinx anything. It seems thatr anytime I write about a guy I am dating, something goes terribly wrong. i really see this sie as an outlet for me to be me. Like to really just be me, and no have to put on this facade of what I think other people might want me to be. Marus is really amazing. From our very first date, I was so intrigued by him. We spent 2 weeks together right after our first date. He was so polite, so respectful, so wonderful. Marcus just got out of a 6 yr relationship, he has a 2 year old son. I am not bothered by the fact that he has a kid. I admire him for being able to take care of him. It seems that now, Marcus isnt the same with me anymore. And I cant help but wonder if maybe, Im not good enough. If maybe I did something or let him down. I'm not saying that he affects me so much that I feel my life is kind of affected by it as well. Life goes on, I dont even know what I'm saying anymore. maybe I just try too hard to be accepted. Maybe I try to hard to make relationships work, or maybe I dont try hard enough. Everyone feels alone and scared sometimes, and this is my time to feel that way. Sometimes all you want is a hug from someone who cares, and that would make it go away.

I have been so lazy! It's just so typical of me to be this way, anyone that knows me knows I procrastinate on everything. Alot of stuff has beein going on with me. Lot's of boy drama (as always) personal drama, family drama, work drama, its insane! Most of it is incredibly stupid, and I swear, peoples stupidity never ceases to amaze me. Lauren is graduating from college this saturday! I am so proud of her! She already got hired to work in January, so she will be my sugar momma and support me. Lauren, I'll go to Colinas and get the lease paperwork ready so you can sign and start paying the rent on our new bling bling apartment! Think of all the hotties by the pool in the summer!!! *drools* Lauren is such a great friend and even though she always manages to sound rude on the phone (witch!) shes beyond awesome. Gaby and Nepha invited me up to Cruces this thursday to go to some new club they opened up there. I'm not sure if I'm going, but it sounds like fun. I am also thinking about going back to NMSU for the spring. It's such a tough decision, but I need to really sit down and think about it. I've been having a really goods time with my friends lately and the people around me. So much has happened at work, and I'm learning so much. I've learned to appreciate life so much more now, and just how important it is to tell people that you love them, that you care about them, before it's too late. :) So if you're even taking the time to read the mumblings of a lamer that is me, thank you. :) I've been talking to Arial because Trouble told me he was super cool! She did not lie! Turns out that Arial lives in El Paso too! :O isn't that weird??? We get drunk at the same Double Daves evey wed. and didnt even know it! I think that's some very worthy gossip, cam bitches guy and b-list cam girl get drunk together. hahaha I want to go see the new Harry Potter movie tonight, maybe I will. I need to do alot of x-mas shopping because, well, I havent done any yet! haha I am going to start working a new layout, a real one with content, not just a blog and a cam. I have some really cool stuff planned, so tell your friends! Lame. Bye.

Wow, I've neglected this for a looooong time now. I've been semi-busy and havent really had time or motivation to write something on here. I just got back from a 2nd interview at Tres Mariposas. It went well and I certainly impressed them with knowing what Womans Wear Daily was. It would be an awesme job, not to mention the killer employee discount! gah ok Last night I went to a quincea�era, which is a Mexican girls 15th birthday party. It's like a sweet 16 I guess, but alot more dramatic, almost like a wedding. I had one, and it was awesome. It was one of the best ones I would say, everyone (except me of course) found a boyfriend/girlfreind, then Leslie spilled that drink all ovrer Jeannette, people I hated were there, we made up the piruja dance...hahahah....good times. I've been feeling kind of down, one of our kids pased away this week, he was only 2 years old. It keeps getting harder and hareder for me to deal with it and work there and be strong and everyting else. It's just so unfair how kids lose their battle to cancer, even with early detection and harsh treatments. It makes my reason of being alot harder to understand, but I need to stop focusing so much on it. I'm driving myself crazy just thinking about it. Wed I went to Double Daves with Lauren, but no one interesting was there. hahah, somethingh funny did happen though. Joe, the manager, is my ex bf's former roomate, so Iknow him pretty well and he usually hooks us up. Lauren and I were both pretty hungry so we decide to get the buffett ad grub on some pizza. I give her 10 bucks, and tell her to go get both of us hooked up for 10 dollars, but to try to getit for 5 first. So she goes over there and I see her talking with Joe. Then she comes back, and says, ummm ok. I got it for 10. And I ask what happened and she says, "I asked him how much he would would charge me for a buffet and he said $3.50, so then I said, ok, can I have 2 for 10 dollars?" Lauren...you are the wind beneath my wings lover!!@ hahahaha That was by far THE BLONDEST moment in time that we have shared. hahaha ok anyway. I can't really think of anything else to write, so i'll stop here. Thanks. Ohhh, its my moms b-day tomorrow, she'll be 56! :O

I havent updated in forever...shoot me, I have lots to say, i will post later!!! <3 you mom, because I know youre the only person who visits this site! hahaha

Its thursday night, 8:55 pm, and i'm still at the office. This totally bites. I am beyond sleepy, I am just in zombie mode. Marcus came over and he's keeping me company. <3 yay marcus yay I want to kill my boss for being such a perfectionist. I have to stay here and work, because she wants to put some shit out of the way tonight. I could perfectly well do this for tomorrow, but i will be flexible, and I will please her. <3 me. DIE thanks

I AM ANGRY AT THE WORLD.

Friday Five sucks today, so i shall post the googlism for Lisa. It's suprisingly porn-ish and slutty. Googlism for: lisa lisa is adyktive lisa is on lisa is framed lisa is back lisa is a 76 year old lady who lives alone in lisa is eastenders culprit lisa is forever smiling lisa is a ny yankees fan lisa is a race car driver lisa is set to go wild in zambia lisa is likely to see signals from mbhs peter bender jila / lisa is crowned lisa is cool lisa is very hot and waits for your cock that 70's porn lisa is absolutely correct lisa is widely moving apart the pink wet vagina of her lesbian lisa is tenderly licking the sexy buttocks of her girlfriend by lisa is waiting for lisa is webminded lisa is king of the world lisa is a loser lisa is adyktively versatile lisa is true lisa is sitting pretty enough lisa is a 76 year old lady who lives alone in sheltered accommodation and prior to this hospital admission was able to care for herself lisa is bottoms up lisa is eastenders culprit phil mitchell confronts lisa on eastenders on thursday the ex lisa is het slimste lid van de simpsons lisa is a race car driver in the pits lisa is likely to see signals from mbhs peter lisa is lisa is cool have you seen lisa's journal? i like it an awful lot and i'm sure you will lisa is very hot and waits for your cock lisa is a production lisa is very hot and waits for your cock brittany spears babe outdoors wanting lisa is the voice of koran in legend of himiko from central park media lisa is widely moving apart the pink wet vagina of her lesbian friend and licking her opened asshole lisa is tenderly licking the sexy buttocks of her girlfriend by her wet tongue lisa is gonna get it on come and watch lisa is geboren lisa is an outspoken adversary of the left and radical feminism and a proponent of modern conservative principles lisa is not an unmixed blessing for a work of art lisa is waiting for you to cum big boob blonde takes it from both ends love bugs good goody bady bady hardcore lisa is working chiara and she has tonya as her little helper lisa is hot lisa is kept in the warden's office lisa is a good mother because she is a kind lisa is the founder and president of the snider's web lisa is a co lisa is dead lisa is actively involved in fostering education in globalization lisa is a dive lisa is editor lisa is a very experienced musical theatre actress and dancer who most recently starred in les miserables lisa is now a minimal hurricane lisa is a non lisa is worried by the number of times she's seen josh talking to chiara lisa is hung in napoleon bonapart's bedroom in the tuileries lisa is also coordinating team efforts to create a long lisa is painted over gioconda lisa is participating in the lisa is one of the country's foremost illusionists with a bachelor of arts degree in speech with concentration in theatre lisa is an eight year old female in the third grade lisa is originally from toronto lisa is still in college lisa is more excited than max lisa is the right coach for me? lisa is a story about a man named george lisa is part of a team that brings in excess of 25 years real estate experience in prince william and northern virginia alone lisa is fully functional lisa is more confident on the mat lisa is home lisa is the voice behind some of the 1980s' most memorable songs lisa is the best lisa is a slighly boring character because she's so good all the time lisa is an enthusiastic and motivated teacher who is totally inspired to assist others in finding their own answers lisa is about? want to know how it can benefit both yourself and the leigh centurions rugby league club lisa is used to signify "a woman of great taste" a pun put into service for a lisa is used first as an attribute of absolute and absolutely corrupt power lisa is highly complementary to the large ground lisa is in the second grade at springfield elementary school where she excels in all subject areas lisa is a native memphian who attended germantown high school lisa is very hot and waits for your cock and pheromones pix lisa is the author of so you want to start a chronic illness/pain ministry lisa is a first year mechanical engineering student whose hobbies are playing in a band and lisa is similar to a dynamic link library lisa is a spunky lisa is a terrific editor lisa is an expert sound designer and arranger as well as the premier new age harpist lisa is the child of a jewish mother and a black father lisa is the short one What do you think about that, eh? ;) I added some more people that I had to link, so ta-da! <3 you guys and dont forget to spread the word, www.sooperficial.net!!!

I'M BACK!!

Look, I want to be fuckin cool too. I have decided to answer the infamous Friday 5. 1. What is your favorite scary movie? Scary movies usualy give me nightmares, but the one that I absolutely loved was the re-make of The Shining done for ABC or NBC or sone of those newtworks. Man that was soooo scary! :O 2. What is your favorite Halloween treat? Candy Apples and Ice cream punch! 3. Do you dress up for Halloween? If so, describe your best Halloween costume. I usually dress up when I have no choice. I dont think I ever had a cool costume. Ohhh wait....there was that year that Ariana and I dressed up as Beavis and Butthead for halloween! Uh huh huh uhuh.... 4. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events? I like going so I can be scared out of my mind and then when it's over I can be a bad ass and tell my friends how cheesy it was. 5. Will you dress up for Halloween this year? Yes. I am going to be strawberry fanta! Shoot me I am lame. BTW I talked to Ryan last night. He seemed to be sooo sweet and sooo wonderful and sooooo much like he was in the begining. We talked for like an hour or so, just catching up on what had happened since we stopped talking and stuff. I think he is chnaging for the better now, which is great. He just needs to lay off the heavy partying and the pills. I even got him to admit that I was one of the best things to ever happen to him. :D I miss the good times we had just hanging out at his house with his parents and Wes and the cat and the dog from hell who didnt like ANYONE but somehow ended up loving me and even sat on my lap. *sigh* ok The last thing I want is to come off as a total skank and boy crazy kind of girl. But isnt that what being single is all about? I'm young, I'm ok looking, and I deserve to have fun before I get tied down to someone for the rest of my life. I hope I bump into Ben tonight. I have made it a personal goal of mine to get him to kiss me. ;) I saw him flirting with this girl last Saturday at Xcape in the VIP lounge. She was not that cute. But if thats the kind of girl he likes, I think I have a chance. :D I wonder what Tara would think if she knew I was trying to hook up with her brother??? Good thing shes at USD and not here! :P ho ho ho

Ok, so I wasnt really nude. But you could join freakcams anyway and get all the cool shit it has to offer! I will be adding more galleries shortly, but the ones that are there are pretty good! Anyway, I've been kind of sick these past few days. It seems that wearing skanky shirts out to bars and sitting outside drinking cold beer makes you sick. ugh. Who cares I had a blast. Today however, I am suffering the consequences after I have od'd on dayquil/nyquil! I feel spaced out and I'm very irritable. Have any of you ever felt like this after taking that shit for too long? Let me know. Yesterday I went to lunch with Rocky. *sigh* That was really weird. Well the actuall time I spent with him wasnt weird, but what happened because of it is. His ex gf works with him and apparently she saw me walk out of the store with him. I have no idea who the chick is or what she looks like. I guess I was kind of worried that he was using me to make her mad, but he said that he didnt even know she was working. Then the fact that he was confused and angry after what she did, made me feel weird. Which makes no sense because I have vowed to myself to not even care or focus on anything that has to do with Rocky. It's not like he's the only guy that likes me, but it still hurt a little bit. :( Does that make sense? I guess despite any other guys I am talking to or seeing at the moment, Rocky has more of a hold on me. Cheesey, I know. Slap me. Thanks. And I found out from Rocky that Mario was Dominic_21_99. It freaked me out because they were trying to make it seem so sneaky that they were reading my site and what I wrote and blah blah. I never write anything that I would regret here, so I'm safe. I guess it feels weird since I never expected him to read my site. Today I was pissed of at the world because some network idiots went into my office and instaled a firewall and all this other bull shit and now my PC is fucked up the ass and has no internet connection. To make it worse, they switched me over to a cable server and took me off the DSL one. ROAD RUNNER DIE DIE DIE!!! That would piss anyone off, right? It was ok in a way since I got to sit there and not really do anyting all day but eat candy and answer the phones. I <3 my job! Rocky might come over later tonight. If he isnt too freaked out about me being a weirdo today. ho ho ho Aaaand I need to shop for the rest of my halloween costume for the party on saturday. I'm going to be a fanta bitch! OUSH!##@!

hi, click this to see me nude. Thanks.

This week could not have been any better! I had a blast partying with all my great friends! Wednesday night at Double Daves I was sooooo sauced I have no idea how or why I did alot of the shit I did. Let's see, I told Brian Givens that I had a crush on him, I told Ryan that he was a sorry motherfucker, I had a convo with some guy in my art class about relationships, and i tried to out chug a 6 foot 3 inch football player. Friday Nepha Gaby and I went to Hemingways and we were having a pretty good time. We saw some cute guys, alot of gross ones (which wouldnt leave us alone). Then I hear someone saying "Lisa from Candlelighters!!" over and over again, so I turn around and it was Coach Nate Poss, Utep football coach and he's having a great ol' time and he says that he wants to introduce me to some people. That man is so sweet, he made me sound like an angel to all those other people he introduced me to. He even gave me a sideline pass for the game against Rice. It was a really fun night and alot of interesting shit happened. We bumped into alot of people like Karla and Natalia who were of coursed, dressed to the nines and made us look like chump-ass hoochie mamas in our jeans and skanky shirts. It was a fun night. Saturday we went to Xcape, and I called Greg so he could get us into VIP. Well, one of the bouncers saw us and he gave us VIP wrist bands! We are some mega fly bitches. :D Nepha ended up going with Mario and Rocky. Just when I saw Ben Ivy, nepha calls us and tells us they're there. :( Ben Ivy you are soo cute! He's 26 and he's a lawyer and hes hott. gah ok I ended up having a really good time with Rocky and he was really sweet. <3 I really like this guy, but I have never received more mixed signals ever! I'm not even stressing about it. If he likes me, fine. If he just wants to fuck around with me, fine. I don't really care because I feel happy now. :D I have a great time whenver I'm with him, kissing him is the most delicious thing ever, he's incredibly funny, he's taller than me! But if he can't see what a bad ass I am, I'm not even going to sweat it. All the horrible things I went through with Ryan have made me into someone stronger. He lowered my self esteem so much, and it's demented how he could even make me feel so unatractive and flat out ugly. Now I dont give a shit what he, or any other guy thinks. I like me, and thats all that should matter. So Rocky, if you're reading this, I'm screwed. :/ hahaha ok whatever. Im cleaning out my closet today and getting rid of LOTS of clothes and shoes. I even did laundry and it turns out I have more clothes than I thought. I'll post some more later!

Went out to lunch with Ju-Ju today to the Golden Buddah formerly known as the Peking Garden. He got this cool new Kodak cam/mp3 player thingie! Ju-Ju is a GREAT photographer as well as a bomb ass waiter! Here are the pics he took of me! dont the dumpsters add to the sexyness of this bum grab shot? Ju-Ju said it was sooo "Mariah". hahaha This is me posing tres sexy right outside of the Rib Hut. Nothing could be sexier than a chick posing like that outside of a place that sells ribs!

I have whiplash I went offroading on saturday with Nepha Mario and Rocky. We drove out to red sands which is like super far from my house. I live on the far west side and that place is on the faaaaaaaaaaaar east. We took Mario's step dad's quad and we rode around the dunes and everything. Then some punk guy on a motocross bike hit me and Rocky! Ouch! I thought my leg was bad, but Rocky got hit pretty bad and he got some skin ripped off his ankle. The motocross freak fell off his bike and he broke his little break handle thing. Fucker, maybe he should have tried USING it and we would all be ok. Then we all went off in Rocky's 4 Runner and REALLY got crazy and bumpy on the dunes. Nepha and I screamed like little bitches and the guys just laughed at us. har har har Here are some pictures of our adventure....

They are so weird. They have this one little silent code for something and they wont tell us what it is. :( Thats ok. Nepha and I have ALOT more silent codes than they can ever come up with and I know they are just DYING to find out! hahaha suckas! i hope he isnt reading this, because then he'll get paranoid. Keep it on teh hush hush. Ha, and as i was writing this he just called me. unF he's pretty cool. whatever. anyway I have a test on wed...yuck alot. I get my math test back today. Sunday was cold. I had to stand outside and watch a polomatch for like 2 hours. It blew. I also found out that we lost 2 of our kids on Sunday. I had just met one of them and he seemed totally fine to me, but turns out he was really sick, but he just didnt wnt to check into the hospice. How do you deal when youre 16 and they ask you if you want to go to the hospice? That takes some major courage. ok....have fun adios **update I went out to Double Daves last night night and I bumped into Brian Givens! I have a huge crush on him and I was drunk so i let him know. He is sooo adorable. I also saw Applebee's Aaron there, who is now the kicker for UTEP...ugh, whatever he's already going bald. I saw a few other guys i knew there, it was fuckin awesome. ***MEGA update I got laid and it was great!!! *final update I hung out with Married Matt today, he is soooo hott! (and no longer married!) BTW HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEMETRIUS!!!! :D 27 isnt old...gha hahaha yeah right! :D You rock dude!

I am freaking out majorly. God, I am such a fuckin' airhead. :/ Working and going to school is soooo much harder than I ever thought it would be. I have the most laid back easiest job in the world, I'm sitting here at work typing this up. But the holiday season is our busiest time of year when we have lots of parties for the kids, Gala fundraisers and not to mention hospital visits. I know what you're thinking, all I do is take pictures and print them out. Thats not the hard part. I always have nothing to do, but then I get bombarded with projects and meetings and events when it seems that I have no time to even grab lunch! I've also been freaking out when I go to the hospital. I try to stay away from visiting the kids in there as much as I can, but sometimes I just need to suck it up, be professional and do my job. Can you even imagine how hard it is to see an 11 year old girl begging for more morphine because the pain she's in is overwhelming? To look into their eyes and see them sparkle when you take them some stickers or a picture of them with their brothers and sisters, wow. Now imagine seeing a little bit of yourself in those same eyes, in those same hospital rooms, every time you visit. It's even harder when you become close friends and a mentor of some sort with one of these kids, and they lose their battle. Imagine. When I was first diagnosed and going through chemotherapy, I kept asking the inevitable "why me?" question. Now that I am cured and healthy, I still find myself asking the same question: Why me? Why did I survive at a time when 7 out of every 10 children with cancer were dying? The ratio has since then changed to 3 out of 10, but that means there are still inocent kids losing life to a horrible illness. How do you deal knowing that you survived the same thing someone else couldnt? ok let's stop with the depression! whew... NMSU kicked UTEP's ass at the big game. I had alot of fun and we bumped into alot of people. Then Nepha's bf and the guy I went on that blind date with drove up to Las Cruces and we all went bar hopping. After that we went off roading in the desert! I was screaming like such a little bitch begging him to stop, then laughing my ass off and telling him to do it again! :D It's totaly safe since you're in the dessert and it's nothing but sand around you, so its not like you're going to hit a tree or anything. I have a ton of math hw to do, and I'm behind on my readings for history! I need to bring my grade up if I'm going to make the Dean's List. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about school yet for next semester. I have alot of thinking to do. God, growing up is such a bitch. I want my mami! Yes, mami. I call my parents Mami y Papi. How gay. I love it.

Blind date was a success! I made a big deal out of nothing and he actually turned out to be VERY funny and very cool. I had alot of fun and now I am off to Las Cruces for the battle of I-10! NMSU -vs- UTEP Nepha Gaby and I shall be boozing it up and cheering wildly! Go aggies!!!!!

I'm going to see Creed (again) today. I know, hate me. :( Work is work, right? So anyway, I dont like this pink layout, but I'm not going to change it because I am too lazy. So if you'd like to donate a new hot layout to my worthy cause, feel free to do so. Hmm....I'm trying to think of cool shit to write about, but my life is pretty much mucho boring atm. I went out with Julian and Margaret last night to Taco Cabana and we had margaritas. I know how sad. We tried going to Double Daves, but they were out of Pear Cider :( Oh, I have a blind date on Friday. :O Nepha is setting me up with some guy and I don't know anything about him, except he's tall and he's funny. har har She gave him my url, and he told her he thought I was 'hott". NEPHA i hate you. Thanks. Gaby is going too, so it wont be too weird. I hate the fact that he knows what I look like though. :( Does that make any sense? Probably not. I'm super sleepy and it's going to be a LOOONG night of watching kids, taking pictures, and doing other concert stuff. :/ yay me!

I'm working on a new layout...ta-da. It's pretty much the same, cept this one is pink. Go me. Hate it? Love it? Thought it was about damn time? Im not crazy over this like I was of my old one....so I'll be tweaking with it when I have time. Let me know if you want a link.

I am such a fuckins lacker when it comes to posting on this baby. Not like anyone reads anyway, right? Battle Boobs has been going on. I won last week, woo hoo, and this week I am defending my title against someone with some big tata's. I wont mind if i lose, I actually think I dont stand a chance, but we'll see what happens. Last Wednedsday, when i was so stressed out, I decided to go out and booze it up with the gang. We met at Double Daves and Meg and I downed a pitcher of Pear Cider, and when it was almost gone, Joe, who is a manager there and happens to be Ryan's former roomate, brought us another pitcher. Turns out some guy had bought it for us and said that if we wanted to know who he was I would have to go with Joe and meet him. He was really nice and I thanked him blah blah blah...... AND THEN... HE KISSED MY HAND!##@@!! This is a lost art that makes women weak in the knees boys! Ok maybe it's just me, but I thougt that was really cool of him to do that. After that we went to Erin's bar and boozed it up some more there. We bumped into Ryan (surprise surprise) and Tony and we all sat together. Then Javi and his friend got there, and then i saw Mario and Chuck and I sat with them. They bought me drinks so it was fun. :D Then Chuck started his "youre so cute Lisa" shit and i was diggin it. I met one of their friends who is the district manager for Gap here, and he let me wear his Gucci watch and told me he would make me a star in the world of retail. <3 So sweet. He kept on kissing my cheek and saying how incredible I was. People think I'm awesome and beyond beleief because I'm tall. Friday I went out with Nepha and Natalia to Capone's. It's $2 you call it, anything in the house, so we got pretttty trashed there. Then we saw Mr. Garret, who was our english teacher freshman year of HS. I made him buy me a drink for being the worst english teacher I ever had. Then we saw Ben, Tara's super cute older brother (who is like 26 and a lawyer) and him and his friends bought us Royal Fucks. Well, Nepha Nat and I were royaly fucked after that so we went to Cincinnatti Street to check it out. It sucked ass everywhere, so we went to Erins, sucked ass there, bumped into Ryan, went to Tunas, bouncer wouldnt let us in w/out us paying cover, so I went to Erins with Ryan (thats how drunk I was) and then we met up with Corn Fed and Danny at the OP. I was alreadsy sauced out of my mind, but I had 3 more drinks at the OP and after that Ryan and I were all over each other. :O Drunk, no doubt. It's like, you always know what you're doing, yet somehow, you dont think of the consequences. Corn Fed picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and carried me out of that club like a cave man. Grrrrr! I had alot of fun hanging out with Corn Fed and Danny. Theyre both cool as fuck. I always miss all my ex-bf's friends after we break up. I seem to get along better with them sometimes. Too bad Corn Fed is gay.... Lacey, Marissa, and I are collecting Man Ass. If you are male and would like to take a picture of your delicious man cheeks, please send the picture to me. Thanks. Keta has sent his in, and claims to have a picture of me smoking a joint. click here to see the alleged pic. And in more depressing news, my soulmate, Paulo, is cheating on me with some chick who has a bf. Please let him know I am his one and only. Thanks. I am going to start working on a links section (finally) and link back all the wonderful people who have linked my shitty ass puke green site <3. So if you have linked me, or would like me to link you, e-mail me or let me know somehow. If you would like to use a button to link my ass...... THERE IT IS SUCKAS!

I AM SO STRESSED OUT!!!! I have a test in 2 hours, I have more work on my plate than I can handle, and I got bitched out by the boss!!! *cries* Not to mention the boss asked the administrative assistant to have a "talk" with me, but thats going to happen tomorrow. I think its just to get my school schedule straightened out. I hope. haha Ok...so anyway... Dear Gaby and Nepha, No I have not replaced you, you replaced me! j/k guys You need to call me and invite me out too, ok? I <3 you guys and whatever, ok bizntaches? So lets do something this weekend. I say we go to Phoneix and look for Gunther. Or we could go bar hopping on friday again! :D hoodie hooooooooooooo y'know... haha ok I feel like i am going to break out in shingles from all this stress. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but i think I have a fever and i am starting to feel itchy on my arms. :( Stress so away. I need some Zen in my life. I called my mom and she said she doesnt get stressed out because he does yoga. Yeah, whatever mom. I have shingles...pitty me.

YAY I woke up with a headache today! :/ My mom is back in town, havent seen her yet though, but judging from our phone conversation, I think shes still got that Vegas daze in her. She was talking liker a complete airhead, and my mommy isnt like that. It was weird. She did however get me some stuff from BEBE! That also means that Fifi the dog (see cam shot) will be going home today. :( I will miss her, but not all the poop cleaning up. I have 2 tests this Wednesday that I need to study for. After these tests, I plan on going to Erin's and getting trashed. :D Have you noticed that all I ever really blog about is how drunk I was and how hott that guy was? I cant let you all believe that I'm just another shallow girl. NO! There is more to me than meets the eye! Shiraz bought me some martini glasses from my wishlist! THANKS SHIRAZ!ell Now you should all follow his fine example! *pout* Ben is awesome and you should go visit him. And check out Keta's new site! Tell 'em Lisa sent you!

click this and hit send! Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell your clergy, tell the world! Lisa is a contestant in IG's Battle Boobs!!!! Go vote now or DIE! :D <33333333

I AM HUNG OVER. Last night I went to Tuna's with Margaret and her friens Jazmine, (who will be in a "girls gone wild" video with Eminem grabbing her tatas) and margaret's other friend Javi. I saw alot of people that I knew there and it was getting good untill it started raining! Aceitunas is a beer garden, so its outside. Some gross looking old guy was telling us perverted jokes about licking dogs nuts and ugly chicks with dicks. Some gross guy grabbed me by my belt buckle and said it was an awesome belt. And this other guy wouldnt stop playing with my hair. After Tuna's we went with Julian to Freddy the bartenders house for some more beer. It was fun but I was tired and drunk and cranky so Meg and Javi took me home! <3 yay Now i'm still at home and I think I'm still drunk. I have to go to dinner with my auntie tonight at the El Paso Club which means I need to dress up like a good conservative future wife of a millionaire and curtsey and smile and use the right forks at the right times. But its mexican buffet night! So I'm gonna hit up the bar for the never-ending complimentary margaritas!@@!%#!! My friend Emilio's dad is the Maitre'D there, so maybe he'll hook it up with some Mimosa! I love that stuff. mmmmmmm Mimosassss.... And yes I am a contestant on Battle boobs. I think Rosie has nice boobs, defenetly bigger and nicer than mine, so if i lose, it'll be no big shocker. I was just scared to join because i didnt want anyone to hate me. :( I can't deal with it, so please dont hate me, hate my boobs. That was lame, I need to find better things to write about.

I hate people. No really. I'd say over 1/2 the population annoys me, and i want to strangle them with my hands untill i see them turn purpe and damage their ocal cords so that they become mute and can never speak their annoying ass words ever again! ahhh slap me...HARD I am soo stressed out lately with all the school work and work work and personal problems and social life and whatnot. Welcome to reality! Growing up sucks! I wish I could go back to highschool, or freshman year of college when my life was so much easier. :( Now its like reality has come and its here to stay! yuck! I hate being broke and not having money for stuff. I need new clothes and I need some other stuff, I guess in a sense I have been spoiled because I have never really had to work and earn these things, my parents have always given them to me. Now they expect me to grow up and start becoming more mature. It sucks, but it'll be good in the end. Arent college students always supposed to be broke anyway? :/ My mom is out of town till Monday, shes in Vegas with some of her friends. They went to go see the boxing thing going on over there. Why she would want to see that is beyond me, but oh well. That means I have 4 glorious days of no nagging in my life! Yay! Ok I need you guys to go check This chick because her site is just awesome and she has some interesting things to say. I am going to do something that I dont think I would normaly do. It should all be set by tomorrow or so, so just keep yhour eyes open and watch out. hahaha

Monday sucks. Nuff said about that. I am at work and I'm hardly inspired to do all the shit I need to do. What else is new? Gaby's b-day celebratory bar hop was hella fun. We started off at Capones and we had apple martinis and buttery nipples. Fat Albert and his boy gang was there, how exciting. Then after that Nepha and I were going to get to cincinatti street before anyone else so we could find some cute guys to hook up with. But of course we got cocked blocked by Ruben and his gang of stalkers. I tried turning quick without turnsignals, i tried speeding, i tried everything!!! Then i prdetended to park near cincinatti street and we lost them! IM SO SMART! Nepha and I met 2 really hott guys outside of Hemingways and they invited us to go to Grahms Corner with them. We convinced everyone to go to Grahms and then Nepha hooked up with her guy. Turns out he goes to NMSU and we were like oh so do we blah blah blah...and then we're telling each other what our majors are and he says HRTM and im like OMG Nepha he's a FARMER! And we imediatley look down and check to see if he's wearing boots! ahhh Ok so he's not a farmer, but it was scary. Then we all decide to go to Aceitunas and Gunther (my guy) who I may add was incredibly TALL and uber hott. *drools* Well Gunther was all for us going to Tuna's and so Nepha and I took off again and we all got to Tunas. Bouncer asks for ID's and then he says theres a $5 dollar cover! Nepha flirts with him and he waives the cover fee! We're sitting there, telling everyone about our little adventures with these hotties, and lo and behold, they walk through the door! We ran to the bar and we started chatting. Then Ju-Ju gets to Tunas and we're all having a blast. Then Ju-Ju the pervert tells me "Gunther is hott, Lisa! Either you hit it or I will!" hahaha Then he says "Look at that big buldge in his shorts dude! He's fuckin huge!" So I look and then I faint. haha He was kinda shy and so was I so we didnt exchange numbers or anything. It was fun for that night, whatever. It's hard to be attached to someone or have feelings for them and try to meet new people. And yes I am reffering to Ryan. I am still hoping he'll come around and realize that he loves me and that I'm good for him, but I dont see that happening. I'm just so gld I have awesome friends who let me know I am a hottie (Lencho, my #1 fan and Dan), that I can do better (everyone else here) and that I dont need to be with someone like that. It's hard, but it's getting better. :)

Happy Birthday Gibber Gabber!!! Gaby turned 22 today! It was only last year when Nepha and I planned the surprise party woith the help of lencho, Dan the Man, Andy 1 Potato 2 potato 3 potato 4, Ju-Ju and Yanar. "you booze, you loose!" OMG I just thought of something. Today is also the 1 year anniversary of me hooking up with Feo! Yuck! Dario, guey! Dario is this guy who was Fat Alberts roomate. He's from Tijuana/San Diego and hes the kicker for NMSU. And I ended up going BACK to Andy's place (who was Darios roomate) and having wine with him and whatnot. Now we can all look back at it and laugh..... hahahahaha I hooked up with Feo! :( Anyway, tonight should be a great night. Gaby Nepha and I amongst other people will be celebrating gibber's 22nd so it shall be loads of fun. I bought a skanky shirt just for the occasion! :D Go Lisa Go Lisa! And on an even more OMG note, I saw married Matt's Navigator at Demetrius's house last night! :O He's back from Chicago and prolly still with his un-suspecting wife! Married Matt, you so fine. You so fine you blow my mind! I am also going to help Ryan (i know i know...slap me) today with his C++ shit. It's sooo hard for me to just be there and be a friend, but he helped me, so I gotta help him. As soon as im done helping him I will defenetly lose all contact withhim and hopefully regain my mental health! :( I'm so angry but deep down, I just want my boyfriend back. Ok, no pity, just <3~!

And now for your viewing/stalking enjoyment....here are some pictures. The sick car Casa Lisa The View from casa Lisa

HAPPY LABOR DAY!!! I spent all day hanging out by the pool, having Tecate's, eating guacamole, and having adult conversations with people from work! Sounds lame, but it was actually pretty fun. So much more weird Ryan related shit has happened, but I'll spare us all the details and move onto other things. My car was very sick. :( It was making this horrible crunching noise whenever i hit the break on it and apparently that was really bad. I totally fucked up my car and it cost me a little under $500 american us hard earned dollars to fix it! :( Five hundered dollars! You know what I could do with that kind of money? I'll tell ya! Ugh, so anyway, I'm beyond broke right now. Plusss i have to pay for my books for the 4 shitty classes I'm taking this semester. :( Thats about 300-400 dollars. :( Notice all the frownies :( I'm pretty bummed out here. All this Ryan drama has really lowered my self-esteem and it's hard for me to feel pretty or even good about myself right now. But I need to focus on school and not really give a damn about anything else, y'know? YEAH! DrT has been more than a sweetheart in helping me boost my self esteem and feel pretty again! Thanks DrT! Chelsea has also been such a sweet sweet ho and she cheers me up alot! Me and her will someday be #1 and #2 @ camspot. And I cant forget about PhD (thats for short because his real name is way too hard for me to remember or anything) who is always there to give a good hump on #ig! haha Julian and Margaret are still some of the downest bitches I know and I will be taking them out for drinks and dinner on Wednesday! Gaby and Nepha...ahhh...I was so wasted when I was up there on Tuesday! i cant belive we saw little big mouth!! I was so drunk and I'm like " Thats not Mark Lovello!!!" Duh...it was....and Cholo.....hahaha....I canot belive I made out with him last year. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?! Mike Lucero was there too,a nd of course, I will never live down the name "Fresa" for as long as those people live! I miss NMSU so much, but being home also has its perks. Ok...im just being a retard now, so i'll shut up. Remember, Lisa <3's you....oooooooh and I almost forgot, I'm getting on cam LIVE eveyr now and then on yahoo! So if you want to see me pick my nose LIVE add me to your list. lithaethparza k bye

I am on the worlds most fucked up emotional roller coaster. :/ I love Ryan more than him or anyone ould ever understand. Things have been going sooo weird lately. I said some really mean stuff and he didnt bite his tounge when he lashed out at me. Wednesday was horrible and I wish I wouldve stayed home. Now I think he might be trying to make things work for us, but i dont know. I think he really just needs to get his stuff straight and prove to himself that hs better than all of this. All i can do now is be at his side if he needs someone who really cares. :(

Ugh...enough with the crying and wondering what becomes of the broken hearted already!!! Fuck! All I can say now is that I know that I'm a good person and i know that I deserve to be happy and this sure as hell isnt making me happy at all. I need to tell you about my trip to Austin! I had such a blast! I hung out with Reagan and his friend Shawn and David came up from San Antonio to see me too. We were just walking around on 6th street and we decided to go to this place called Crocodile Rock. Its a pretty neat bar. They have 2 guys on 2 pianos and a drummer on stage. They played some awesome songs and Shawn even got a lap dance from a girl on her bachlorette party! :) I got to spend time with David, which I hadnt seen since that one time at Copa freshman year second semester! OMG Thats the night that I hooked up with that hot Abercrombie looking guy! Remember that Nepha? hahaha Well anyway, David looked the same, just a little chunkier. He said that I looked great and even more beautiful than he remembered. :D He was wearing Issey Miyki too! I got him that cologne when we were in high school because I told him it drove me nuts. I was just smelling him all night! We went to some other bar called Cheers and I had like 293843365096097554849302094845738388495.003 shots. Ok maybe it was more like 4 shots, but I was sooooo fucked up. I was in my hotel by 12:30! :O omg imalush! Reagan and Shawn were busy getting their freak on, so I didnt want to poop on their party. Reagan got his boxers stolen by some chicks, Shawn was mackin on all the waitresses David was just sitting there, and I was throwing up all over the place. So needless to say, David walked me back to my hotel. We got some gross pizza which might have been delicious if I didnt have alcohol poisoning and we ate it as we walked back to the Omni. I threw up like 24 more times in my room and then I passed out. I didnt even notice David leave. He said he tried to wake me up, but I wouldnt move. Isnt it great how I could have had some serious alcohol poisoning but my ex boyfriend didnt even try to shake the fuck out of me untill he made sure I was awake and breathing? Hmph.... All in all it was a super good time and I have a lot more reasons to be happy and thankfull and cheery and peppy and stupid and bimbo-ish than to be sad and angry over someone who cant figure their life out. Yes, I may still be bitter, but I'm moving on, I have great friends and I know that theyre here for me no matter what! I love you guys so much! You know who you are, and if you dont....Gaby, Nepha, Julian, Margaret, Lauren, Lencho, Dan, Cesar, Jeree, Julio, Paul, Gabe, Denise, Steve and everyone else! I <3 you!

Yesterday was a very emotional day, but then again, arent they all? haha....Julian and Margaret really came to my rescue and didn't let me be alone. After we all got freshened up we were going to go to the Kings X and have some drinks there. I called Gaby and Nepha and they both came down from NMSU. Thanks guys! Girl Gang and the new Vagina Squad loves you. (no tounges please) Ju-Ju asked me if i minded getting a ride from Wes (Ryans brother) since Wes lives closer to me than him. I said no prob but i had to call and check when he would be ready. So I called and Ryan answered and wanted to know why I was going out with his brother. I dont even know what to do anymore. I love Ryan more than I could ever explain to anyone, but why does he act this way? All I want is to put all this behind us and go back to how things used to be. I'd give anything to have that back, just to have my boyfriend back. But I did have a blast with Juju Margaret, Gaby, Nepha, Yanar, Jazmine, and Wes. Ju-Ju's psycho waiter alter-ego came out when he got a little tipsy. I think we were all pretty fucked up. It was good to be around so many people who love me and knew that I needed a friend. Even though you guys are some major bitches, I am so lucky to have you as my friends. I <3 you guys.

Julian and Margaret, I <3 you guys so much. Thaks you for being here for me when I needed a friend or two! *muah* Ju-Ju and Meg really came through for me today by surprising me at mi casa and taking me out for some drinks. I don't know what I would do without you guys. Meg with the peg leg, you give the best advice ever and you will make a kick ass lawyer! <333 Ju-Ju, you have been more than a best friend for me this summer. We've done so much crazy shit together and I'm trully blessed to have a friend like you. :) Thank you for putting up with me and being here for me in the good and bad times. You guys are amazing! Now hurry up and get back to my house so we can go drink some everclear on the rocks!

As I sit here writing this, I cant help but cry or feel completely empty. Last night my worst nightmare came true. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. When I met you, I wasnt sure I liked you and I never thought it would get this far. But you seemed to really like me, and to care about me in a genuine way. From the first night we went out I shouldve known that you were involved with things that I didnt need to be around. But you were in such bad shape, that I was scared to let you be alone. Not because I was in love with you, but because I was worried for your safety, much like I worry now. After that night, there wasnt a day when we werent together. I helped you in any way I could, even though at the same time I wasn't really helping myself. That didnt matter, because I was growing closer to you, and I wanted to help you, be with you, show you that I cared. You swore that you had never felt this way about anyone ever so quickly. You said you loved me, and that scared me so much, of course I wouldnt be able to say it back. But you said that maybe with-in time, I would be able to say it. I did say it, knowing that then, I was completely voulnerable. I tried so hard to keep my little emotional wall up, trying not to let my gaurd down. You asked me to open up to you, because if I didn't, then we wouldn't get anywhere in our relationship. That was the hardest thing for me, showing you how I really feel about you know. As soon as I did that, you turned away from me. I thought I was what you needed. I kept you out of trouble, or I tried to anyway. I loved you and cared for you, rushing to be by your side when you needed me the most. I sat with you in the hospital, I took you wheverver you needed to go and I never expected anything in return, except for your love. Then several things started happening to you, and all of a sudden you realized that your life was going nowhere. I was there by your side, but you wanted to be alone. I didnt understand why you would push me away this time. Why didnt you need me by your side this time when things werent going right? It came out of nowhere, it shocked me and scared the hell out of me. I started to think about a million things that I could have done wrong to cause you to act like this. I tried to make things better, but it seems I only made things worse. The more I tried to get close to you again, the more you pushed me away, and you said the meanest things anyone who ever said they loved me has ever said. If this is what loving someone is like for you, then maybe I'm not the one with the problem. Let me give you my two cents worth now. You seem to have a problem with fucking up anything good that you have going for you. You fucked up by going out of town with your job, your family, your health, and me. For someone who wants to prioritze and get their shit together, you arent doing a very good job. I stuck by you even when everyone told me that I could do better. That I didnt need to be with someone like you. I didn't listen because I love you, and I believed in us, and I wanted to make things work. Well it takes two to tango, right? Now after seeing you there with another girl, I believe that everything you ever said to me was a lie. You've managed to hurt me and make me feel more worthless than any man ever has. I'm just glad I finally got to see it with my own eyes, as much as it hurt, now I know that I'm not the one that isnt good enough for you. I may not be the most beautiful girl in the world, or be the best person alive, but I know I'm better than being treated this way. They told me that if you really loved me, you would come look for me. I can honestluy say that I do love you, that I'm in love with you. I'd even like to believe that this is something we can work out. But its the worst feeling inside when someone you love, opened up to, and trusted, breaks all that was there. The bottom line is this: I dont understand why you would do this and I havent understood this whole time. Last night, I was able to understand that you just need to fuck up anything thats good for you. If thats what you want, then theres nothing I can do. You cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped and you cant love someone who doesnt want to be loved.

Ok....so maybe I overracted and blew the whole Ryan saying he needed time out of proportion. We talked yesterday for a little bit and things seemed to be cleared up and better now. I guess I need to chill out if I'm going to be a "Down Ass Chick". Having a boyfriend is so draining, now I remember why I didnt have one for over 2 years! But Ryan makes me happy, so I can't complain. Anyway...I see you guys coming to the site, yet no one buys me anything! How can I be a cam girl if you guys dont shell out a few bucks and shower me with gifts. SO WHAT if I'm not an A-list cam girl....I need to start somewhere, right? In other news, Ju-Ju and I will be hanging out tonight. He works the door at the Comic Strip tonight, so I'll just help him ask for peoples ID's and be gay and stupid with him untill 9. Then we shall party like theres no tomorrow. It sucks that I wont be with Ry-Ry, but at the same time I need to give him his space. *sigh* Ok...Im here at work, ad I havent really done anything productive yet except make 1 phone call. I'm downloading songs and blogging....AND GETTING PAYED FOR IT! Suckers! :( Did I mention I no longer have a cell phone? Aparantly, when I was in Cloudcroft, my phone was roaming, piece of shit 80's monster phone didnt even work 1/2 the time. Well, the Adm. Assistant got the bill for my phone and my boss's phone the other day....each phone bill was over $1,000. =O Holy Mole-ey! Yeah...so I dont have a cell for now. I'm going to get a Sprint phone, but I need to wait untill next pay day because I need to leave a $125 dollar deposit. Pooper on that! yech. Buy me a phone, send money. help a sistah out fooz! Peace in da Middle East!

After only 1 and a 1/2 months.....Ryan decided to give me the ever-popular "I need my space" talk. *Inmense amount of pity here* :( Maybe I am co-dependent. Ugh. He makes me so angry sometimes.....ok ok....most of the time. :/ I told him we shouldn't talk at all untill I get back from Austin, then he said I was overeacting and that my suggestion was stupid. Men. So, anyone know where the hot spots are on 6th street? I need to know where to go and what I need to wear. Hit up the comments or e-mail me and let me know! Im depressed. Buy me something.

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:(

I hate Reno now. I know i used to love it and blah blah blah and Reno this and Reno that, but now it sucks ass! Ugh...let's go back to the begining. Tuesday Lauren was going to celebrate her b-day so she wanted to go to Reno. She turned 22, why she would want to go to Mexico is beyond me, but I dragged Ryan with me and that was my first big mistake. It was incredibly packed, there were girls who must have been 15, boys who hadnt even hit puberty, it was horrible! Another one of Ryans friends asked him if I was a stripper. That makes it 3. Apparently Ry-Ry is well known for going to Prince Machiavelli's (the strip club with the nicest looking girls in El Paso) and theres this other place called the Lamplighter. Well they ask where I work and I say Candlelighters, so bam...they think stripper. NO!!! I WENT TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL MY WHOLE LIFE! Then Ryan's last 2 gf's were dancers at Prince. His friend Corn Fed asked, hIs brother thought I was when he first met me, and his friends ex gf asked him if i was too. Gawd! Its going to take more than a few bucks to get me to strip down and show you my hoo-has while dancing around on some old geeks lap. Ryan and I haven't been doing so hot either. I love being with him, but he just snaps sometimes and it makes me wonder if he's hurting me more than he's making me happy. He's bi-polar, and he doesnt take his medicine, so I'm SCREWED! But when it's just me and him, it's nice. Does that make sense? No? I know! I can honestly say that I have deep feelings for him and blah blah blah. But we're both pretty fucked up since we've been through bad break ups and we're scared of getting hurt. So between his shit talking and me being a pussy, it's hard to get any real feelings across. My chair is warm. Patrick has had his ass on it for a while. :/ Guys...buy me something from my wishist. Im suicidal. K thanks!

does anyone have an AOL account i can borrow for an few minutes? IM me @ dolceprincess and let me know! I'll love you forever!

Lisa's back....tell a friend!! :D IT IS SOOO GOOD TO BE HOME! Never thought I'd say that, but gawd, the last 2 weeks of my life were pretty shitty. I was thrown into jail for prostitution. :( J/k I was away at summer camp in Cloudcroft, New Mexico. The org i work for has 2 summer camps every year, one for kids with cancer, and one for their siblings. This year the camps were held back to back with a weekend where they were both there together. Over 100 kids, in one place. My hair is falling out, must relax. It was pretty fun, we did the usual horseback ridding, archery, fishing, toilet papering cabins, go karts, bungee jump, rock limbing, kareoke, dancing, casino, bingo, yada yada yada. I am sick of kids, i'm sick of working, i'm sick of my boss, im sick of pine tres, i'm sick of people i've been with for 2 weeks. I even got sick when i was up there. I came down with a cold and it blew cock. I cried almost every day I was up there. I really missed Ry-Ry, but we talked on the phone every day, and he left me some really sweet voicemails. Ryan even drove up there on wed to go see me. <3 There isnt shit to do in Cloudcroft, but spending time with him was great! Friday i spent with Ryan, it was crazy. He picked me p and told me that Wes has fed the dog weed! :O It's a tiny pomeranian and it ate a whole joints worth of bud. When we got home the do didnt even bark, it was just laying there with its mouth open, kind of smiling. So we try to take it to a vet, but Ryans car wont start, and so he asks me to call a vet. I call, and if you can imagine me saying "ummm...this little pomeranian just ate some marijuana and its just laying there now." I sounded like a dumbass. They just gave the dog some vitamns and let it get un-stoned on its own. Then it was time for me to go get shit faced. Friday night and saturday afternoon I was tipsy-wipsy. Today Ry and I are going to go to mass and then to see Goldmember. I DO NOT want to go to work on monday. :( This was a lame post. But arent they all? ohhh ps...I had signed on at ryan's on aim and i forgot to turn off the save pw and auto log in, so if you tried to im me in the past 2 weeks, sorry. k

News Flash.....Girl who fears commitment now has a boyfriend Thats right. I have a boyfriend now. I dont know how it happened or why, but it just did. It's weird, but I dont feel so bf-phobic anymore. Who's the lucky guy? It's Ryan. I'm on my way to his house right now.....post more later!

I <3 Double Daves!!! :D I fuckin love Double Daves. It's so lame that I would be so obsessed with going to a fuckin pizaa joint, but DD's is just the shit in more ways than one. Let me explain to you. One day, Chris, Julio and I went out to lunch and we decided to try this Double Dave's place. Well the guy working there was more than nice to me, he gave me some beer samples and he told me about the best thing that ever happened to me, 50 cent draft night!!! Lunch time was never so good! I show up for 50 cent draft night, I meet Wes there when I went out for a cigarette. Next week, I see Wes again and he asks for my number. We all start partying after that, Tony, Wes, Brandon, random potheads, Tony's sister and brother-in-law, I met alot of people these past few weeks and it's been a blast. Well, Wes's brother is the manager at Double Dave's. His name is Ryan. Saturday night, Ju-Ju (butterscotch big-nuts), Lauren (vanilla ice) and I (chocolate fire) met up with Tony to go to some parties. They were in the Coronado Country Club area by mi casa (right down the street from Gaby...miss, i so do not live in the country club) so these parties were pretty awesome. The houses were huge, the drinks were alllll there,a nd the people smoked alot of pot! haha....So anyway, Lauren and I were the fly bitches at this party so the scary hoe's were giving us dirty looks, or maybe they were just stoned. We left that party and went to another one by Resler. This was a luau pool party and Tony Brandon and myself got into the pool. Lauren and I were STILL the flyest bitches there. Guys just kept looking at me and Lauren like we were peices of meat. I love it! j/k This one guy came up and asked if we were @ the Colinas pool earlier....fuckin stalker! He kept following me around like a puppy. And this one guy had to tell my lover that she had amzing eyes, but he wasnt hitting on her. Then he comes back and tells her she's gorgeous. No shit, pothead!!! Thats why shes my lovah-lovah....ooooh! haha <3 Lauren <3 We're all inside and some guy comes in and asks if we came in the black corvette or the Z-7something pick up because some ghetto asses had just beat the shit out of them. So everyone gets their joints and beers and takes em outside. Lauren and i were talking to the chick's mom about what had just happened, when i noticed Ju-Ju was gone, and I saw him smoking a doobie with some guys. Well one of those guys was Ryan, Wes's brother!!! I asked him if he remembered me, and he said he did, blah blah blah, to make a long story even longer, I made out with him. He asked me for my number, I gave it to him, he said it was his birthday, I said he lied, blah blah blah. Turns out it was his birthday on Sunday. So after Wet-nWild, Lauren and I swing into Double Dave's and he's there. He gaves us some beer, made Lauren a pizza, which she totally wolfed down!!! And we just hung out there for a while. After that, we went to Erin's bar and Ryan got fucked up and wanted to drive me home. Thanks but no thanks. We made out some more...blah blah...then some guy groped me outside of the bathroom. Ryan was ready to go beat his ass! Unf! Dont fuck with me perverts! Ju-Ju's cousin, Corina was there too, and we all had a blast. I was with Ryan again yesterday and he's been calling me constantly. I think he wants to date me, well actually he said he did. I dont know if he means exclusively, like boyfriend girlfriend. It's been a while since I've been in a relationship, I'm not sure if I could handle it. He is super sweet to me and he's been an awesome guy. We have a date tomorrow, I guess we'll see how that goes. He keeps calling me and wants me to go over to DD's tonight, but I think I'll pass. I need to play a little hard to get, right? God...this is long. Did anyone read all the way to the end?

You booze....you lose Holy shit I got completely obliterated lst night, but let me start from the begining. Ju-ju and I went to TUNA'S and met up with Wes and Tony. Sat down, got the first round of beers. Chit-chat...blah blah...second round of beer. Tony's sister and bro in law get there, 3rd and 4th round of beers. Note: it takes about 3 to 5 beers for the author of this post to become drunk and obnoxious. We decide to head on over to The Stampede and keep drinking there. Well when we got outside, Tony's truck had been blocked in by some shitty ass Sebring from Juarez. They paged the owner, but theguy refused to come out. Tony's bro in law used his Explorer to pull the car out of the way and then Wes went all ape-shit and started hitting the car with a bat! Well all of a sudden the owner of the car runs out, but we had all hauled ass into the cars by then and drove off to The Stampede. I had 2 more drinks there and I was ready to get down and dirty with Wes, when Edgar calls me and asks what I'm doing. I told him where I was and he says he's going over. Bleh! So we're all outside having a smoke and Ju-Ju big nuts walks over to me and tells me Edga4 is there at the club, and so is Don! My face went like this... =:8O...or something like that! I walk around inside trying to "bump" into Don, but I bumped into Edgar first. Ju-Ju just kept pulling me through the crowd and sure enough, there was Don! So I was pretty smooth about bumping into him and whatnot. He was there withhi buddy Carlos and I just stood there like an idiot because when I see Don I just turn into this social ass-wipe. So I excuse myself and goback out into the smokers patio and tell Ju-Ju what happened. By then Wes had some blonde bimbo sitting on his lap so I figured I'd get my own meat head to come down with me, so I called Edgar over. After that Wes was pretty much like "Baby...where you going?" HA!!! Don't pretend I didnt see you feeling up that airhead! But whatever. Moral of this story is all 3 of the guys that I'm digging at the moment were there, and I was sauced, and I threw up all night. I missed my most important meeting ever that was at 10:00 am today, and I didnt get to go swimming with Lauren my Lover tonight. Damn you rain!!!! k I'm done now.

yes.....i'm back Hey everyone! The FTP was finally fixed up and now I'm back and better than EVER~!!! Well I dont know about that, but I sure have lots to talk about and bore you with. And I have new incentives for pictures and a new layout in the works. It doesnt get better than this! Ho ho.....so anyway, Edgar is old news now. He's pretty boring and he doesnt know how to party. Sorry, but hangng out with your trailer park trash friends and drinking keystone light around the pool IS NOT my idea of fun. I am now more interested in these other 2 guys (not in a tag team sort of way). One of them, Wes, is pretty cute, but he's a scrub. You know...hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride....yeah. But he isnt broke or anything. So he just likes riding in his friends truck....no big deal...for now. Guy numero dos, is the supreme being of all men!!! His name is Don, and he is just beautiful. Perfect. ahhh, but he also goes to school down in Nashville. Vanderbilt....grrrrrr!~~!! So yeah, since then I have turned 21, been drunk every night, gotten a beer gut and done all that other crazy 21 year old bullshit that is already getting old. Tonight I will be at Double Dave's Pizza Works. They have 50 cent draft!!!! :D:D:D:D ahem.....guys, I want fan signs because they make me have high self esteem! And if you buy me stuff just by clicking on that "bored rich guys" link, i'll love you forever. And I'm not just saying that! So keep me happy and excited! I'll post more later because my brain is just making no sense.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Feeling kinda bummed.... It's that time again when I start questioning so many things and looking to find answers to questions that only God can answer. I realized that moping over a guy or any little petty thing in life is just a waste of time. I remembered the letter I wrote to Gerard after he passed away, and after I read it, I felt at peace. So what if I havent seen Edgar again? I really think that by the time he comes around and realizes what a cool chick I am, it'll be too late. So boo fuckin hoo! I met Victor on Thursday and he's a super interesting and sweet guy. Lauren (my lover in the picture below) thinks that he likes me....soooooooo...we'll se what happens. On friday my boss told me that a reporter from the Boston Globe was looking to write a feature article about childhood cancer survivors, and she had told her about me, so it looks like I might get picked as the subject! It's just been swimming around in myhead, maybe thats why I've been sorta bummed. Anyway, I know I had posted this letter before, but maybe some of you hadn't seen it. Hope you like it. �Can I tell you something, Lisa? Promise not to get mad?� �Sure.� �I think your face looks a little rounder than it used to be, like you kind of gained some weight.� �Aughhhhh�.did you just call me �fat� Gerard?� �No, you don�t look bad, I was just making a comment.� �Gerard, I love you, but not in that way, so don�t get excited.� �I know what you mean. I love you too.� That was some of the bits from my last conversation with Gerard, about 1 week before he passed away. I hadn�t gone to visit him for a while because I wasn�t sure I could deal with seeing him. I was expecting the worst, but when I saw him, he didn�t look at all like what I had imagined him. He looked like he always did, just a few pounds lighter, and with some sideburns. We joked around and laughed, just like we always did. Gerard taught me so much about life. He set an example for all of us with his bravery. Everyone who met him was instantly drawn to him; his personality was amazing. He always kept a positive attitude and made sure that other people around him stayed positive too. He would always tell me to stop being so �fresa� and trying to be something I wasn�t. He would always say something of mine was nice��for him to poop on. He knew that I loved n*sync and kept on yelling, �you guys suck� at the concert just to spite me. When I heard that Gerard had passed away, I thought that someone had made a mistake. We had all said hi to him the night before. We all sobbed and wailed at the airport. Some people even stopped to ask if we were all ok. I cried for hours, and it still hurts to think that I will never see that smile again. But I will not mourn for Gerards death anymore. He wouldn�t want any of us to, and I can just imagine him saying that too. Instead I choose to celebrate his life, and treasure all the great memories that I was able to share with him. People always say that you need to let loved ones know how you feel about them before it�s too late. I am glad I put my selfishness aside and got to see Gerard and let him know that I loved him. There were some things I didn�t say that I would like to let him know. Gerard, thank you for being you, for always having the best smile in the world on your face even when none of us were brave enough to do the same. You taught me that life is what you make of it, and that you can turn something bad into something good. I felt so helpless so many times, like I wasn�t quite sure of what I could do to help you, cure you, or make the pain go away. I think not having answers to so many questions is what makes us feel useless, but I do promise you one thing. I survived cancer for a reason, whatever that may be. I would�ve done anything to switch places with you and let you live, because no one I know deserves to live more than you did. I can�t do that, but I promise to never regret being alive, and making sure that not a single day of my life is ever wasted. I will remember to always look at the brighter side of things and not let the small things in life get me down. You truly set an example with your life to all of us, Gerard. Thank you, for teaching me more about life than I ever knew. I�ll see you in heaven, buddy. Love, Lisa

my lover and i!!

ha ha ha holly mole! I got into a car accident on I-10 yesterday! It was me and a motorcycle! Two gay guys were on the bike and they rear ended my car. Nothing happened, no one was hurt, and I just laughed my ass off. Like this... :D he he he he :D Edgar called me from work today! :D:D:D Must mean he digs me if he's calling me from his work, right? Go Lisa go Lisa! And I talked to Aaron today also, not applebee's Aaron, TKE Aaron. I saw Applebees Aaron on Saturday when he came over to mi casa. TKE Aaron called me today and he said he would cook dinner for me! :D I'm allllll smiles today! go lisa go lisa!

Someone hurry up and throw a pity party for me.... I had a really interesting day today, for more reasons than one. Want to read about them? :/ Today I was at work, not really doing anything so they asked me to run across the street to the hospital to take some toys and stuff to one of our kids. (I work at an organization for kids with cancer.) So I go over, and I gave him some Star Wars action figures and some coloring books and Play Dough. I sat in the room with him and his mom for a little while and chit-chatted with him. I just kind of talked to him about my experiences with cancer, and how I am all better now. I asked him if he needed anything else, and he said he wanted stickers. He didn't really care what kind of stickers, so I teased him and asked if Barbie stickers were ok. Thrn I asked him what he would give me in return for these stickers, and he looked at me right in the eyes and said "a hug." He had been laying down in his bed the whole time, but he then sat up and streched out his arms for me. I hugged him and I swear, I have never felt so good about doing something before. When I left his room and I walked back to the office, I started to kind of cry. I saw so much of myself in this little boys eyes. His mom called me later and told me that my visit had cheered him up and he was asking when I would go back. The fact that I was able to make someone happy and give them some hope to keep fighting for their life made me feel better than anything has ever made me feel. Seeing all the kids that stop by the office and run to hug me and ask me to play with them, and seeing them whine when they have to leave, it makes me feel like I've finally found what I want to do for the rest of my life because it just feels so right. Like I'm sitting here typing to no one, but it makes me feel great and somehow, I feel like I'm finally at home where I belong. Cheesey, I know. :) On the other hand, I just got off the phone with Edgar a whike ago and it's like, this guy just blows me away. I dont think I've ever been so smitten (is that the right word) by a guys mind before. I love talking to him and hearing all the things he has to say. Just the same way he can have a deep conversation with me, he can just go off and start talking like a total guy, and it's great! Even if I just end up as his friend, I'd be happy because he's by far one of the deepest, most interesting people I've ever met. And he uses big words too, boys and girls! I have to admit, I really want to see him again because kissing him was delicious. (like you all really cared or even wanted to know) I dont know. who knows. Do you know?

It's been awhile....... Ok ok....It's been over a week since I last posted, I'm lazy what can I say. Another hectic week at work with tons of stuff to be done. This week I've been so tired, I'm walking around like a zombie...as seen in the cam pic. In other news, I went on a date with that guy I met at Reno's a few weekends ago. . He's actually good-looking and he's a really interesting guy. We talked about a lot of deep subjects and we were both pretty much on the same wavelength on alot of things. We didnt really do anything special, just kind of hung out at his friends pool and drank some cerveza. It was all pretty mellow untill everyone there left to go to the bathroom, except me and the guy that lived there, we stayed by the pool. Well to make a long story even longer, this guys girlfriend walks in and starts yelling at him for telling her that he was just going to go to bed and not do anything that night. Then...omg....she looks at me and asks me if I'm having fun with her boyfriend. So I just went into shock and I thought...."oh my god...this girl is going to pop me in the face...." As if I wasnt already scared enough, she starts slamming her hand on the table and throwing chairs around!!! I thought I was gonna get it good, and all I could do was just sit there and watch. So this guy is telling her that I'm there with someone else and she gets even more mad...ahhh....I guess you had to be there. Ooooh and I got a new cell phone from work....and it has unlimited airtime!!!!! :D All the minutes I can talk...for free!!! <3 my job Cesar is having his big "end of school" bash this saturday. I told him to make it into a surprise party for me, but as usual he said no. jerk! Every year I tell him to do it, and every year he says no. I havent gone in like.....5 years to this party, so I feel that I need to make a cameo this year. However I wont be swimming. I'll just sit by the jungle juice and laugh at Fat Albert when he drives his car into someones house again. (sorry fatty, you're just the worst drunk driver ever) It should be fun if I ignore all those people that will be there that annoy me. *note to self...get ear plugs* aaaand....I have some fan signs to post on here! Thanks guys!

booo

*Insert topic here* I have been working like a dog for the last week! It has been beyond crazy at work, tons of stuff to be done, not enough hours in the day, and then theres the fact that I procrastinate till the very last minute. I have a feeling that this Dinner Party tonight is not going to be all that great, and people will be upset. But thats work for ya. At least some of the stress has been lifted. Now onto more exciting news.... That guy I met at Reno's last friday called me! *yay* Well, he's been calling, but I lost his number and I dont have caller ID at home (dont ask) so I get home from work last night and my dad tells me some chris guy and some edgar guy called. So I *69 and sure enough....i get Edgar and I tell him what happened, my friends maid threw away the paper where u wrote ur number down...etc...he didnt really beleive me, but I told him this story was too weird to make up. Anywho...I also had a HUGE scare with my eyes. After they told me i couldnt have the lasik done, the DR told me I had a disease caled keratoconus...which means my corneas are turning intolittle cones and then they'll start ripping and scarring and eventually I'll need a cornea transplant. That scared the shit out of me, and I cried for hours and hours on tuesday. So Gibber Gabber...thats why I was so blah about going to the UTEP bar with u guys and stuff. I'm sorry i was so biznatch-ey, but I thought I was slowly going blind! But I got fited with my contacts and I wont need the cone shaped ones for Keratoconus...she (the dr) told me that it was a very mild case, and she didnt think I would need a cornea transplant untill I'm about 40 or so. So yay me...If anyone has any corneas I can have when I'm ready for the transplant...feel free to contact me! :D

I'm a whore again!! yay me Jeree and I went to Reno on friday....gawd oh gawd we had a fuckin blast!!! We danced all night...we got free beer....and I met a guy. I was to drunk to see his face clearly, but everyone told me he was hot...unless everyone got together and decided to play a cruel and unusual joke on me. I felt like a Juarez Downtown Strip Reno ho'! It was fun to re-live the magic i once had. Dancing...making out...i had to laugh when he tried to lick my boobs...ha. Slutty girls usually laugh when stuff like that happens. This guy was funny, I know that much. He kept on saing "lets make out" and then he says "you're tall, you're pretty and ur hot...youre my kinda girl." I just had to laugh...he kept on saying he needed my number because I was his dream girl. So I go to the pool today and my mom tells me some dood called, and yep it was him. I need to see him on a sober basis...check him out. heh....ok this was lame.

Guess who didn't get lasik???? Fuck Fuck Fuck!!! I knew it!!!! I show up at the Dr's office and they get me all prepped for the surgery, then i see them give valium to the chick next to me, but i dont get any, so I'm like wtf.....Then they call me over to re-measure my cornea, then i sit and wait. Still no valium. Then the re-re-re-remeasure my cornea...and i sit and wait some more...no valium yet either. Then they call me over to the conference room and i KNEW what they were gonna tell me. That I had shitty corneas and that they couldnt lazer-ize my eye. I was ok with this, as long as I got my fuckin contacts back on. My mom on the other hand was crying. Shes the one that made me go see this doctor and made me get the lasik that i never wanted. So when they said "no-can-do", shes the one that needed the valium to chill out. After that she took me to the mall and I got a dress and some pants and some shirts and 2 pairs of shoes and some lunch and some makeup and just anything I wanted because my mom knows that the aure fire way to make me happy is shopping. So maybe I acted a little sadder than I was...hahaha. Well we shop and then we go buy some solution for my contacts and I get home, open up the case...and my fuckin left contact is broken!!!! SHITSHITSHIT!!!! ahhhhhhhh Hey God...I know I'm just a dot in this world have you forgot about me? :( So Ima go bust down the door at the eye doctor tomorrow and tell em its an emergency. I'll prolly just wear my one contact and be cross eyed when i go out and such. Ill wear these piece of mierda glasses in the mean-fuckin-time! Shit! Fuck! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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All my ex's live in Texas.... Yes that is a country song, yech! I despise country music, but I was still @ the Stampede (a country club) on thursday. We were bored out of our minds! Ahhhh what was I thinking when I said that we should go there?? slap me next time I suggest we go there! We got there like at 10:30...it was dead. Then we left at 12:30, but we saw Ruben and John at the door waitin to get in, AND then...we saw Joey Knapp!!! So Lauren almost passed out and we went back in. After that it was allll gravy! We were at the bar right next to the UTEP football guys and I saw this one dude....he be fine! i was like....omg omg omg....and he was standing right behind me, so I'm asking Jeree to push me into him! She didnt! Grrrr Jeree!!! Well then I see Mike and Greg, and Mike and I go off to have a heart to heart, and he tells me that he realized that he will never feel what he felt for me with anyone else and blah blah blah....then he says...be my gf again! haha....i swear, he must have been on crack! I was like.....HELLO!!! Do you not remember how I spent all that time in therapy because of you! ahhh...and then Jeree told me that the guy I liked form the UTEP team was giving me "the eye",but then he stoped because Mike was all over me trying to get me to kiss him!!! what a cockblocker@!!! augh! Then Friday at Reno's it was fun...danced, laughed at the guys that tried to get all freaky and rub their weiners on our bum bum's! Saturday we just lyed out by the pool and tanned! It was a fun weekend! yay Lisa yay

I am bored!! :D

Osea....ni al caso, guey. OMG...ok, so I'm doing a random search on Yahoo for this store in El Paso called Armoire, and I see this link. This is a web page from my old alma matter, New Mexico State University. I read this and I was crackin up. If you know me, you know I hate the words Frontchi, and Juare�o. I hate them with a passion...grrrrr. But i digress. This article is hilarious, and now I want to go out and do the same thing. The hang outs that this so called "fresa" names are not only ghetto and do not meet 'frontchi" standards, but they are full of "nacos" from El Paso. Then I saw that this was written in 1996. :( Those places were the ish back then. Now its like....La Serata and El Sphinje aka La Piramide and of course Tesguinos and The News. I really want to do an up-dated expose on Fresa culture and compare how times have changed for us. haha....Don't you love it? Simon Guey! A huevo Primos!!! Oushhhhhhhhh! Slap me...Please.

I see London I see France..... I saw a mudda fuckin guy with MC Hammer pants!!! I kid you not, but the MC Hammer pants aren't the best part of what I saw. I should start from the begining. I was driving home today, and I see some jerk in a Harley cut me off. So I speed up next to this guy to give him the "look", and I see that he has these Hammer time pants on. Then I get a better look at him and I see that his haircut isn't quite right. And then it hits me. OHMYGOD! I got cut off by a jerk on a Harley wearing MC Hammer pants that has a mullet!!!!! And then I saw him turn into the country club. I am so blessed to have this man as my neighbor!