Thursday, February 28, 2002

Let them have beer.... So I'm here at my alma matter, New Mexico State, and we're getting primpped and ready to go over to Ju-Ju's place. I just heard that some guys from my past will be there, such as Dario, aka "El Feo", he's the kicker for NMSU and possibly Victor, some gross guy that irks me big time. I just plan on getting trashed and meeting some new guys and being my skanky self. I'll let you know how it turned out tomorrow!
It's party time baby Thats not adjust your monitors. Tonight Ju-Ju (aka Julian the french male prostitute) will be having a huge ass party at his place for his 21st b-day. I was promissed some really hot ass Mech. Engeniering majors would be there for my boning pleasure. Shweet! I just talked to Fat Albert and he said that he would be my mode of transport over to Las Cruces, so now I just got to find the little cups for the Jell-o shots and steal some jell-o from my mom's pantry! wooooo! I'm going to get to see everyoe I havent seen in a while and possibly hook up with some hawt little fred durst look-alike. Or maybe not, but either way, I know we will be totally shit faced and obnoxious, which can be fun. And I bet Ju-Ju is going to bust out his doobie, but thats for the crowd that digs it. Wow, well I'm about to get some pizza action going on here. I'll post from Gaby and Nepha's place later on tonight!

Wednesday, February 27, 2002

Dr. Lisa...paging Dr. Lisa. Looks like we've got our first letter in dealing with issues of the heart. It reads: Dr. Lisa, I'm a heterosexual male in my early 20s. I'm usually pretty shy but can handle a tough situation (or I try my best to). At work there is this cute Puerto Rican chick. We started at about the same time and as soon as I saw her, she was very appealing to me. So far it's been like four weeks and even though she seems kinda interested/attracted, she's turned me down twice for a date/informal get-together. She either doesn't like me in that sense or her English is so bad she doesn't even know when she's being pursued. Let me know how I can find out these things and what I can do to swing her my way. sincerely, --trying to obtain Dear Trying: It sounds like their may be a language barrier there. I'm not sure if you're familiar with spanish, but lucky for you, it was my first language and I happen to know some sweet nothings you could whisper in her ear that will surley get you to obtain whatever it is you want. *wink wink* Before you go whispering anything though, try baking some cookies at home and taking them into work to share with her. Thats gonna let her know you want to tap her ass, but you're a sweet guy too. Then when she says "gracias" for the cookies, say one of the following: 1. Mamita, quisiera ser sardina para oler como tu vagina. -translation- Hey baby, I'd like to be a sardine so I could smell like your cooch! 2. Ask her if she wants to play "hide the salami in the pink taco" and since she doesnt really speak english, I'm sure she'll say yes. Sure it's a little vulgar, but it gets the message across loud and clear. 3. Compliment her shoes or her earings, or tell her you dig her perfume. She'll see that you notice little things and that you're digging her. This, along with the cookies, this is the more civilized way to approach your boriqua mami chula. Which of these courses of action you decide to take is up to you, but good luck! Dr. Lisa and the qualified staff members are ready to help others in need of advice. Fell free to contact us and let US help YOU.

Thursday, February 21, 2002

Nice shot.....asshole "the battle of I-10" is what the media calls it. New Mexico State University -vs- University of Texas at El Paso, those are always good games. The 2 area universities duked it out at the Don Haskins center last night, and Cesar and I went down to see some, what was promised to be, quality basketball. I love going to basketball games, especially if I have a few beers next to me because it makes yelling out at the court so much easier. I didnt have any beers this time, but it was still a good game. I made the very sad mistake of sitting on the UTEP side with my friend, but I didn't think it would be a big deal. Well to make a long story short: 1. DO NOT sit on the opposing teams side and cheer for your team, especially if you're sitting behing huge scary looking guys wearing FUBU jerzees and waving white towels, because you'll get bitched out. Majorly. :( 2. Overtime nearly gave me a heart attack, but I couldnt cheer anymore because I didnt want to get bitch slapped. 3. NMSU lost in overtime. :( In other news....I've decided to add some 'interaction' to this website. I will be resolving the heartache and romance issues of people who come to this website. I know what you're're thinking "how is this chick going to give out advice? She hasn't had a date in 2 years!" But I figure it's an experimental blind leading the blind type of deal, and I could learn a thing or 2 while I'm at it. I will be consulting with a panel of experts, they don't know about it yet, but they will once they read this. The panel will consist of the following: 1. The skanky girl who can't be commited to anyone 2. The romantic girl who only has long term relationships 3. The bitchey girl who has the on again off again relationship This is a well rounded group and I'll run the questions by both of these experts before I post the answers. They can be confidential and all that stuff, and come know you want to. ;) So use that form over there ----> and submit your questions kids, you know you want to.

Wednesday, February 20, 2002

...and YES I was BORED..... Here's what I do when I'm bored......
Everyone loves to hang out with me.

Which Sesame Street Character Are You?
and this..... Who's a loser? I am! I am! Thats ok tho.....I am not a total loser. I just finished baking some cupcakes for the kids in the hospital. They make the whole office smell goooooooood! There's 16 kids of ours in the hospital right now...and I made 24 cup cakes...and 2+2=4....augh...It's just plain torture! I picke the worst time to go on a diet! :( And im super sore. I've been going back the gym and hurting myself on the eliptical stepper and those ab monster torture devices. Not to mention I did a little more than I should've on that thigh master weight thing. I just kept on doing it because there were some hot guys working out near me and it looked very "inviting" ifyaknowwhatimean. I feel like i just had sex for 3 hours with a fat guy. :( Not that I would know because I'm a virgin. Me and Britney Spears have so much in common! heh

Tuesday, February 19, 2002

Well....I think I'm nearly recouperated and semi-sane now. I'm not crying every 10 minutes or wondering why some people die sooner than others...heck, I even stopped hating my doctor for not being able to cure everyones cancer. But thats another story and who needs to be depressed? My friends and I went out to the 02, because the crush at the door of Sutras was idiotic. I swear that bouncer thought he was working at some club on South Beach or the Sunset Strip. I felt like I was in some whack scene from A Night at the Roxburry. I actually started yelling out "Emilioooooooooooooooooooooooo" untill I realized that the bouncer was barking at me to get off the sidewalk. So Ceasar calles his brother who is already inside the bar and he says that he can't get all 10 of us inside. And I dont even have an ID or anything, so we go down to the 02. Get in, no problem, didn't even have to flash the bouncer...woo. Tons of hoodie hoo's allover the place and it was a pretty cool crowd. So I ordered my 5 dollar 6 oz serving of coke and malibu and head down to the table with the gang. I notice guys looking over, but since I'm sitting there at a table with abunch of guys, they dont really come up to me or my friend. So I get the cleaver plan to go to the restroom and check out some guys while i'm at it. Some pretty decent looking guy named Tony introduced himself to me and Natalia and I scored some martinis from these other 2 obnoxious guys. The convesation went something like this: guy#1: I'm the type of guy in PG 13 movies...he's the rated R kinda guy." me: " just gave yourself away as a total shouldn't have lied..I bet you're more the kinky porn kid of guy." guy #2: "by the way i'mnot hitting on you (me) my gf works here" me: "whew...thank god." guy #1: "so what high school did you all graduate from?" natalia: "a private guys wouldn't know" guy#1: "sure we will...if it's in el paso." me: "ok...Father Yermo." guy#1: "oh...never heard of it. Did you guys have to wear uniforms?" me and Natalia: "yeah." *wierd looks* guy#2: "now the million dollar you still HAVE those uniforms?" me and Natalia: *more wierd looks* They were pretty funny...for being "gueros and gringos" and they kept trying to talk to us in spanish. Next friday we're having a girls night out and heading to the 02 again. It should be interesting. But now I reall don't have anything to wear...poop. :(

Friday, February 15, 2002

If this doesn't look like....nothing does!
I was just surfing around and I found this at this website. You guys...Davezilla is hillarious. Head that way...puh-lease, you'll be glad you did. Your Porn Star Name is Pierre Simon Your Blues Singer Name is hyper kennedy Your Punk Rock Band is called the peculiar phones Your name as an extra in "Star Wars" is joogiebish the blender blender
Back to normal...oh wait.....I was never normal to begin with. It's been a really hectic week and I've been on a roller coaster of emotions. But after crying more than I ever thought was humanly possible, I am ready to get my life back in working dysfunctional order. Cesar and I and a bunch of other people I could really care less about are all going to go have lunch later on. Then tomorrow night I think they all want to go this new bar called "Sutra" thats by mi casa. The guy that owns La Serata owns this new place too, so I'm guessing it's going to be just as posh, dress in Gucci and you still don't impress, 10 dollars a drink kinda place. I'm also guessing that you need to be of age to go to this joint, but I got friends in low places, meaning, friends know the owner and the bouncer so that gaurantee's me a ticket inside after some genuine humiliation. Normaly I don't go out to these places because I never have anything to wear. I know i know....i can hear you guys going "ohmygod SHUT UP...just wear that blah blah blah blah..." But this time I do have something to wear. I got this really cool Bergdorff Goodman tube top at Neime's when I was in Michigan. What color is it you may ask? duh people's black, surprise surprise. That brings the total of my black shirt collection to 34! I don't think I can get away with wearing jeans, but I'll try. I'm thinking I want to cut off the waista on my D&G jeans so I can actually wear them now. I dont feel comfortable wearing jeans now if people can't see my butt crack when I sit down. I <3 way low jeans! I dunno, I guess I just need to go into fresa mode and laugh at the people who are naquiz. You know the drill.

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

I love you GG I wrote the following for my friend Gerard. We are putting a memorial together for him and I wrote this thinking of him. �Can I tell you something, Lisa? Promise not to get mad?� �Sure.� �I think your face looks a little rounder than it used to be, like you kind of gained some weight.� �Aughhhhh�.did you just call me �fat� Gerard?� �No, you don�t look bad, I was just making a comment.� �Gerard, I love you, but not in that way, so don�t get excited.� �I know what you mean. I love you too.� That was some of the bits from my last conversation with Gerard, about 1 week before he passed away. I hadn�t gone to visit him for a while because I wasn�t sure I could deal with seeing him. I was expecting the worst, but when I saw him, he didn�t look at all like what I had imagined him. He looked like he always did, just a few pounds lighter, and with some sideburns. We joked around and laughed, just like we always did. Gerard taught me so much about life. He set an example for all of us with his bravery. Everyone who met him was instantly drawn to him; his personality was amazing. He always kept a positive attitude and made sure that other people around him stayed positive too. He would always tell me to stop being so �fresa� and trying to be something I wasn�t. He would always say something of mine was nice��for him to poop on. He knew that I loved n*sync and kept on yelling, �you guys suck� at the concert just to spite me. When I heard that Gerard had passed away, I thought that someone had made a mistake. We had all said hi to him the night before. We all sobbed and wailed at the airport. Some people even stopped to ask if we were all ok. I cried for hours, and it still hurts to think that I will never see that smile again. But I will not mourn for Gerards death anymore. He wouldn�t want any of us to, and I can just imagine him saying that too. Instead I choose to celebrate his life, and treasure all the great memories that I was able to share with him. People always say that you need to let loved ones know how you feel about them before it�s too late. I am glad I put my selfishness aside and got to see Gerard and let him know that I loved him. There were some things I didn�t say that I would like to let him know. Gerard, thank you for being you, for always having the best smile in the world on your face even when none of us were brave enough to do the same. You taught me that life is what you make of it, and that you can turn something bad into something good. I felt so helpless so many times, like I wasn�t quite sure of what I could do to help you, cure you, or make the pain go away. I think not having answers to so many questions is what makes us feel useless, but I do promise you one thing. I survived cancer for a reason, whatever that may be. I would�ve done anything to switch places with you and let you live, because no one I know deserves to live more than you did. I can�t do that, but I promise to never regret being alive, and making sure that not a single day of my life is ever wasted. I will remember to always look at the brighter side of things and not let the small things in life get me down. You truly set an example with your life to all of us, Gerard. Thank you, for teaching me more about life than I ever knew. I�ll see you in heaven, buddy. Love, Lisa
Detroit blows.... I just got back from Detroit, MI, and let me tell you, I always thought El Paso was a shitty looking city to live in, but Detroit is by far 10 times worse. The Creed concert was awesome! I got to meet Scott, The drummer and i got some autographed drumstix and pics and t-shirts and guitar was fun. The best thing about Detroit had to be the Mall we went to. I think it was called Great Lakes Crossing, but i could be wrong. People in Detroit are pretty close minded too. There isnt too much cultural diversity up there. So when I tried to shop @ Neiman Marcus, got wierd looks and poor service, but thats ok. I seriosly freaked out by the fact that i knew people were staring at me as I walked around there. Wierd. I also went to the Henry Ford Museum and I got to see some pretty hiustorical junk, such as the Rosa Park's bus, the car that Kennedy was shot in, and a Mc Donalds sign where the numbers stil changed. I got pics of all my adventures, I'll post those soon. I'm feelidng a little depressed also because a friend of mine, who also had cancer passed away tuesday morning and we all found out at the airport when we landed. Gerard, I know you're in heaven, and I will always remember you. I promise you to never take my life for granted, because I was given a second chance to live. I love you GG. You will live in my heart forever, and I'll see you in heaven, Fango.

Thursday, February 07, 2002

I beleive I have what you're looking for, dear... I wasn't kidding around when I said I had little Gaby! She's been a good girl so far, and I'd hate to have to rip her little plastic arm off, or pluck her hair out with tweasers. So Gaby....if you ever want to see little Gaby again....I suggest you start sending me some cold hard cash, Ms. Country Club Living la Vida Loca in my brand spanking new European car cause like I go to Europe every summer and I hang out with Giorgio Armani and Lisa Kudrow in Rome!!! *ahem* Don't believe me, just look at these pictures..... So....want to see her again? I suggest you be nice to me and stop calling me a bitch! Bwa-ha-ha-ha! My first demand.....I need you to go knock on the new neighbors door, bring the cute one over, and snap a pic of him and you guys with your webcam. Im sure he won't mind! Give him a vodka shot if you need to. I need this pic by Monday night. Or else....little gaby will have to take some pictures of her own, without her cute little hair!!!!!

Wednesday, February 06, 2002

*does goonies voice* hey you guuuuuuuuuuu-uuuuys!!! I was surfing around people's sites like the good loser that I am and I saw this on Rome's site. So here it is.... Wowie! You are Velvet! Mysterious and seductive, you like being in charge and in control. You're the trendy popular goddess and you love every minute of attention that you get, baby. Thats right's all true! *cracks whip*
Missing anything???? I have something of yours.....and if you ever want to see "Little Gaby" alive again, I suggest that you listen to me and meet my demands! Just do as I say and I'll spare her little plastic life. Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!! Yes, I took little Gaby with me last night. She said you never take her out, so I felt that as a former roomate, I needed to help her out. First of all....I dont think that going to the Chipendales thing tonight is such a good idea. I absolutely hate male strippers/guys in thongs. We went to the website last night you guys! They were sick-looking. Only 3 hoodie hoo's out of 10! The odds are not good! I for one do not want to pay 15 mudda fuckin dollars to be grossed out by some guy that only looks good from the neck down to the abs. NO NO NO NO! You guys...sick, 1/2 of em are probably gay. Take ju-ju and make him shake his naughty nutz on the Chipendales. Then maybe it'll be fun. And for those of you wondering....I had my Red Bull audition this morning. They gave me a whole bunch of Red Bull to drink there and to take home. So far I'm on my 3rd Red Bull and I feel grrrrreat babe! i got 1 can in my purse so I'll start on that soon! Woooooooo!~ The audition was crazy. They made us play all these whack games and crawl on the floor like porn stars. Something interesting...i was the only girl there. Some cutie guys were auditioning too. They told us that they had over 50 maybe they saw what a bad ass chick I was and they'll call me back! *insert prayers here* So tonight I might go to Far West and check out the original Chipendales with Gibber Gabber, Nepha, and I'll take little gaby too! :) Thanks for all the e-mails guys! I've been getting some e-mails from people that stop by the site. Just use that little thing over there -----> and drop me a quick note. I wanna feel the <3!

Tuesday, February 05, 2002

Who's a jerk? I am! I am!!!! I am such a jack ass! it is not even funny you guys! 2 days in a row...i went to these bars...and I got totally shit faced. Saturday we all went to the 02 bar on Cincinati. I am of course, under 21, but my friend Juan knows the bouncers and he got me in. It was supposed to be a huge party because the bars name is "the 02" and it was 02.02.02, Feb. 2nd, 2002. So were there, drinbks are mega expensive, and every single good looking guy in El Paso was there. It was Hoodie Overload. I "hoodied" so much I sounded like the mother fuckin kellogs rooster. Sunday was super bowl day, and Gaby fat Albert and his girlfriend and myself went down to the Brair Patch. Another bar, but this is downtown. The BP is a gay bar, and the never card, so I was safe there, or so I thought. I'll tell you this much, I did not spend a single dime that night, and I was beyond drunk. I was a jack ass! Chucky kept on getting beers for Gibber and I. then he got us all a Jolly Rancher shot. Then more beers and more beers. then the lesbo that tried to drug me in the bathroom got me a jolly rancher shot, AND she gave me her flashing Bud pin! Then the Bi-sexual guy that wanted a 3-some with me and Gaby got me another beer. It was crazy. I grabbed Eddy the bartenders ass and Fat Albert told him I wanted to feel his weiner. He already thought I was hitting on him, so he ran away from me after that. then this old man got me some balloons and he asked me if i knew what his name meant in england...and I said he means horny baby! My momma named me well because I'm so randyyyyyyyyy. haha being at the gay bar on Super Bowl Sunday was interesting, and it was defenetly more fun than I bargained for. Imagine and Gibby in a menange a trois. Sick man...just sick. Ohhh by the way...I have an audition tomorow morning to be a Red Bull girl! I would get to drive the Red Bull Mobile around and stuff so that would be lame but cool. I have to be at the Sunland Casino at 9:00 am...wish me luck waking up. :)