Sunday, December 28, 2003
So another Christmas has come and gone, and I can't say I really noticed it. Am I kturning cold and oblivious to things around me? God forbid. I am however turning smart and watching out for my own personal well being more. Friday I spent the entire day with lauren. We had lunch at chili's, we went to best buy and to the mall, we took a nap at her place, then we came to my houce to get my stuff and back to her place to get ready to go out. Her friends mrtin adn Andrew picked us up and we went down to the 02. It was awesome, Lauren and I are both 5'11" and shes a gorgeous blonde so we're both tall and when we walk in all eyes are on us. We justlaughed and we danced around and had a good time. I saw Adam and joe there and joe was trying to get all up on me. He fed me all this omg i really like you blah blah, youre so sexy, you smell so good, youre amazing. And i said, Joe, if I was all of this, why didnt you call me??? he gave me some lame response about adam telling him to back off. Adam is Jasons cousin, wouldnt Adam be the one to back off since I DATED HIS COUSIN!? hello?!?!? But anyway, Joe kept trying to kiss me and it felt really good to turn him down and say no. He is cute, but I was glad that i was able to stand up for myself and not give in to his bullshit. Then after the bar closed we were all outside and all of a sudden I hear "Lisaaaa lisaaaa this is God speaking! Come to me my child!" So i start to freak out and wonder just how drunk I was, then I see Rudy and Sam and George there and they start to crack up. They invited me to go downtown with them to the ER for after hours, but of course i didnt go. Then I get Sam calling my cell phone asking me out ona date for sat night. So i was like Sam, i'm mikes ex gf! Hes like, mike wont mind! Bullshit, i dont know whats up with my ex bf's friends wanting to get with me. It was a weird night. Then Lauren and i go back to her place and attempt to pass out, and her phone rings off the hook with guys wanting to come over, and lauren being as drunk as she was kept saying I'm in bed with Lisaaaaaaaaa my loverrrrrrr, so of course the guys were like oooooh tell me more. Then my cell phone starts ringing and i was like....what the hell is this?! It was one crazy night. I cant wait for new years, I hope to spend it with my friends and people I really care about! Maybe by then I will have moved out of my house and in with lauren! Wish me luck!
Thursday, December 18, 2003
Good Lord, I feel shitty right now. I don't know if it has anything to do with the amount of liqour and beer and wine i've consumed in the past week, but something needs to be done about it. This week has been a week of epiphanies and I've seen things that I had been blind to and I know more about myself and the person I want to be "when I grow the fuck up". What do I mean by that? Let me bore you while I elaborate on that. I am hot. That's just a fact of life and both you and I know this. I am a sweet, nice, good looking, funny, crazy, sexy, noble, overall amazing chick. Most people just know that I'm cute, because that's all they see. I found out that it's totally my fault because that is the image I give off of me. I dress in hoochie mama tops or a skirt and people say woah, shes hot and skanky, break me off a peice of that. Now, I dont mind the compliments or the stares or the comments. I love attention, who doesnt, right? Well now I started to feel like I would much rather get attention for my awesome personality. I'm sick of people not wanting to take a deeper look and get to know me as a person. Agreed, I am fully responisble for this and I dont have to put up with it if I dont want to. Which is why I've decided to just give up on humanity. I have friends (but thats another epiphany) who do know me and who do love me, and its not based on looks or how good I make you look in front of your buddies. Their love is sincere and unconditional and I know they wont stop speaking to me if I look fat in my new jeans. So to any and all males who are only interested in me sexualy, i'd like to salute you with something we call "the deuce". The second epiphany I've reached is one of friendship. Some of you guys stink as friends. Leslie for one, has dissapointed me more than I ever though possible. I think it's the fact that she moved to Dallas 1 week after highschool graduation and dropped out of UNT 1/2 way through the first semester. She moved to Dallas with her boyfriend Chuck, who became her fiancee, who she later brok eup with but remained roomates with. Leslie didnt really make any friends in Dallas and I would hear about this when we talked on the phone. Finally she moved back to El Paso and I was excited and hoping things would be fun, but I feel like she's still stuck in highschool. Maybe she didnt mature the way the rest of us have because she missed college and now shes being an idiot because of it. I had tried calling several times and been unsuccessful, she sent me a x-mas card and I finally got ahold of her on sunday and I explained how I thought our friendship was shitty and we should try to work on it. Her reply: She has a new boyfriend and right now all she wants to do is focus on him. She didnt have fun going out with me and the girls and she would rather not go out with us again, but I KNOW that I can call her anytime I need a friend. right. For Leslie's sake, I hope she marry's this guy and I hope they last forever because I feel incredibly betrayed by her. What the hell is your problem when your best friend from highschool calls you to try to save your friendship and get close to you again and you come out with some, sorry but my boyfriend means more to me than you bullshit? It makes me sick just thinking about it. So whats my point? I've learned that theres things about myself that I need to change if I want my value as a human being to be based on my actions and acheivements rather than my T&A. I've learned that the word friend holds alot of meaning and power and if you can count your real friends on one hand, then you're a lucky person.
Monday, December 15, 2003
GET WELL SOON P-DAWG PLAYA FO SHIZLLE MY NIZZLE OFF THE HIZZLEEY-AY-YO-YIPPY-YAY WITH DA ERRRR FORCE ONEZ CAUSE DAYUM BOY I BE'Z LOVING YOU LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE. werd. Now that I got all that out of my system, I'd like to say that I feel sad. I shouldnt feel sad because I went shopping on friday and I partied like a rock star (a COOL rock star, not the lame one Paulo turns into when hes all crunk) and I had alot of fun, so WHY AM I BUMMED NOW!? Maybe I turned into an alcoholic and my body is going through withdrawl. I swear, there was NOTHING to drink in that cabin that wasnt alcoholic. I just wanted some water, but I wsnt about to drink tap water. :( I had beer for breakfast (corona) Wine for lunch (Pinoit Noir) Red Bull and Vodka for Diner And sensible snacking on 3-D cool ranch doritos, hornitos, dos xx, bud light and michelobe ultra. I tried new things (oatmeal stout, pale ale, arrogant bastard, red sail and some other beer I cant think of) It was ridiculous, but I had a blast! It wouldve been a little better had I not been the only girl there, but I'm always down to hang with the boys and I love it. They always take care of me and scare off assholes who try to hit on me. hahaha Now I'm back in my office, back at work, and all I can think is, fuck, I want a beer. ****edit**** I got off my ass and added comments, so get crazy and comment!